Anyway, onward to the next level!
At this point, I'm expecting another cardboard box. Perhaps the brother of the evil eyebrowed box I just killed, perhaps his son out for revenge, a young shoebox all alone in the world with only vengeance in his heart now that there's no room for love... Well, I was wrong, but perhaps later I'll run into him when he's grown up into a big, strong refrigerator carton. One can only hope.
What I'm actually greeted with is an army of oil drums, which is good because I've always thought those bastards were too cocky for their own good. Not only them, but treasure chests! Hot damn! Is there some sort of item system I'm not yet aware of, or better yet some of those magic manic panels?... Nope. As I hit the first barrel, I am greeted by a rain of fruit, springing forth from them as though they had escaped some sort of horrible tropical prison, glad to see the sun for the first time in their short, ripe lives.
I'm forced to wonder about that conversation, though, and I believe you should all do the same. Picture this, if you will, an army of pirates landing on a desert island (with floating platforms) looking for a place to hide their loot.
First Mate: We've landed on the insane space island, Captain. Should we start looking for supplies?
Captain: No! And as a matter of fact, I think we should leave the ones we have behind! A pirate isn't a real pirate till he has scurvy, and I see too many men on my ship walking around like... well, just walking at all!
First Mate: Alright... but while we're here, should we at least bury the treasure? We're on the run, and the extra weight would make us move a lot faster in the water.
Captain: No! But what I want you to do is take all of the treasure and dump it over the side of the ship, then put fruit into the treasure chests! That will surprise those English dogs! Come to think of it, don't even bury the chests! Just leave them easily accessible, so that anyone can track them down! Oh, and use those thin chests that people can punch through, ok? I love them! So glad we got them on special!
First Mate: ... Sea turtles.
and so on.
Now, on to the menus. I've noticed that at the top of the screen there are four options, nicely labeled in English to correspond to the buttons. They also have handy symbols that tell me that one is a poorly constructed box, or possibly the main area for a habitrail, one is the inside of a three slice toaster, one is the U-Bend in a toilet, and the other seems to take pictures of you while you sleep. For now, I'll pick the toaster.
When I enter the toaster, I am greeted with a list with three options, one of which is black and i cannot pick. I decided to take the second and see where it leads, and am greeted by a scrolling list of Katakana, with odd symbols in the upper screen that seem to mean something. This is how it appears:
"*Football symbol* (Katakana) 21"
"*Strawberry Symbol* 100%"
"*Some symbol I don't know* Naruto (Katakana)"
"*Red katakana* (katakana)-(katakana) - (Katakana)-(kataana)"
"*Pirate flag with hat* One Piece"... Somehow I think I know what this one is.
Now there are a lot of other menus here, but I'm going to assume that they do nothing, since it's much easier to wait and find out later that they're vitally important and that I've missed something. I did however seem to do something that made the screen above display images of the characters, so I now know my party!... If it's a party, I haven't figured that part out yet.
I have Generic Kid,
I have Girl From Romance Manga,
I have Nult,
I have Bobobo,
and I have Luffy attempting to eat my head, apparently.
Now, onto stage three!... Tomorrow!
(At press time, there were no listings on Amazon for 3-slice toasters- only the boring 2- and 4- slice models. We at Flailthroughs regret the inconvenience.)
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