We don't always like being nonplussed

Friday, November 12, 2010

Pokemon Black - Day 30 (It slices! It dices! It takes 3 Ultra Balls to catch!)

I return to the Pokemon Professor's house only to find that she isn't home, hmm... well, I guess we're off to see if those Plasma grunts have moved on, since there's nothing here.

Cue me flying from city to city one at a time, trying to figure out where the hell I'm supposed to be, and I finally end up back at the second gym city.

I wonder if this cluster of named characters is Pokemon Black telling me to go THIS way?
Call me wacky, but I think I can recognize a plot hitch when I see one, and I'm gonna hook my Ponyta up to it and see what happens.

Well, they talk at me for a few moments, then the first gym leader gives me something that is either a Haro from Mobile Suit Gundam, or that frightening little sphere thing from the movie Phantasm... That movie still freaks me the hell out. Anyway, Dragon Gym Leader takes off at full speed on what looks like either a Shadow Lugia, or the worlds' largest blackbird, and leaves me with the group... damn, Belle is talking to me.

Also, here's that sphere thing.

Hmm. It's called a Light Stone and the description references Reshiram, the Pokemon Black mascot legendary. ...Probably not important.
Do you see what I mean? Freaky, huh?

Anyway, I think I know where this is going. Since the town with the seventh gym would only be a short walk to the eighth gym, that means now I'm going to have to go the long way around... Why? Because Belle is a bitch, and is sick of me making fun of her ass, which is epically huge. but then to my surprise I head there to check, and it turns out that I'm wrong! Yay! Do I actually get to take the short route there?!

Could it be as simple as walking into this cave? Of course it isn't.
Oh thank gods!

No, not god, gods. all of them, because whatever one gave me this little blessing is one I don't want to miss... I hope it's Anubis, he's a pretty cool guy... dog... thing. I attempt to walk into the tunnel, and Belle ninjas up behind me like the bitch that she may very well be, but probably isn't, because she's probably supposed to be the good-natured, quirky friend *breathes*. She wants to battle, which seems like a really dumb idea since I'm pretty sure that now they've asked me to go and kill the bad guys, or it's very thoughtful that they're sending along a bit of XP for me before I go to fight them.

I hate this bitch. I hate this bitch, and I hate her damned super potions!

I do however like this.

Jaroda (or possibly Jalorda?) is one badass stringbean.
This is Tsutarja's final evolution, Jaroda... almost makes me wish I had taken the plant starter, if my Pigno wasn't such an awesome little murderer. I beat her and she gives me... something or other, then fats off again back toward town. That battle was a lot harder than I thought it would be, actually. Her Pokemon must have been working out, like, lifting weights or something... like her ass... Yes, I know you could tell that was coming a mile away. No, I don't care.

I make my way through the little tunnel and... and...

It looks so good Pants' little sprite looks totally out of place.

And once again, this game utterly amazes me with its graphics. It's nothing super impressive, as I've said before, but for a Pokemon game it leaves me floored. I love this new generation.

I move my way up the bridge and talk to a girl who's running in circles, and she gives me a random TM, which is nice. At the other end of the bridge waiting for me is Captain Angora and as I approach him I find myself surrounded by N's ninjas... I guess they're all working together... Great. He wanders back and forth, likely telling me about... I don't know, his Pez dispenser collection, or N apparently, and mentions some numbers... I don't know, honestly I've just started zoning out when he starts talking about anything, since I don't understand it anyway. Next time you're playing a game and the bad guy is giving a speech, try to imagine him doing it with hand puppets. That's what I do at times like this, and it works damn well.

He stops talking long after I started clipping my toe nails, and then wanders off without accomplishing anything. I head in through the gate and out to the other side, which seems to be route nine. As I exit, someone dressed as a baseball player says what I can only guess is "Hey kid, catch!" and throws me a TM. Why? Who the fuck even cares anymore, at least I'm getting free stuff. I would like to point out though that this person is far too white and short to be Mean Joe Green... Yes, I have just dated myself mightily.

Don't suppose I could trade up to this from the normal Bike?
There's also a random trainer on this route that is riding a motorcycle, which is kind of cool, except when you think about the fact that there is no way in hell this is a practical mode of transport. To my left is a building, it has small doors, and you have to get off of your bicycle to go through it. I can see being able to pick up a bike and hook it to your back or something, but how is this person going to do that with a Harley? They aren't, that's how. That means this person bought this vehicle just to ride it back and forth between town and this door, and do nothing else with it at all.

There's actually quite a few of these guys and...

...uh. Yeah.

I don't know what they were doing before I started fighting them, but I think I'm too young to be seeing this... And I don't mean my character in the game, I mean me. I'm only 28!

Anyway, aside from the vaguely homoerotic adventures in Pokemon Land, I find something else here that looks interesting.

Yay, Department Store! er, Pokedepartment Store. Pokedepartment Pokestore. Ah, fuck it.
It's a department store! It's got all of the stat-enhancing items, as well as a number of TMs that are well over 90K each! That's pretty impressive, but there are also three, maybe four people in here that are ready to battle you, and good for over 11K if you have an amulet coin equipped. There's also a... something, possibly some sort of feather duster in the janitor's closet, as well as a Janitor. I somehow feel that if I had talked to him before I stole his stuff, something else might have happened... Moving on!

So it's back outside, and I've found access to the grass that's around here, so it's time to do a bit of searching for new Pokemon!

Dasutodasu, the Pokemon I will NOT be allowing my Yabukuron evolve into. Ick.
Like this guy, who is the evolved form of Yabukuron, known as Dasutodasu... Yes, it is "Dust to Dust", so I'm going to call him Dusty

And then there's this gal.

Gochimiru, the 'Oh God The Rule 34 is on its way isn't it, what do you MEAN it's already out there?' Pokemon.
Gochimiru, evolved form of Gochimu, but I'm going to call her Gothy.

And finally, this thing...

Komatana, the Pokemon voted most likely to appear in a Puppet Master movie.
He's Komatana, but I'm going to call him Blade, since... well, you can probably guess the reason.

That's also where I'm going to call it for this week, so keep tuned in for our arrival at the next city!.. hopefully!

No comments:

Post a Comment