". Anyway, he keeps running his mouth, but I think he finally took the damn fossil. Good. Now in like 3 days I can come back and pick it up... or however long it takes.I check out another room and some dude gives me a TM, which is fine with me. Another room reveals... an old man and his grandkids? The old man seems to want a Pokemon, but I don' know what what he wants, so I'll ignore him for now, as always. The little boy doesn't have anything important to say, but the little girl wants a Pokemon. Time to call in reinforcements.
The scientist seems to want a Dewgong for a Ponyta... which I'll ignore, since I can catch a Ponyta on my own. The old man either wants an Electrode in exchange for a Raichu, or the other way around. The little girl seems to want a Venonat in exchange for a Tangela. You know, I think I'm going to ignore ALL of those requests, since I can catch them all on my own.
With that building exhausted, I move on to the gym, which, of course, won't let me in. Time to find the bafmodad! I head into the only building I haven't searched yet, and get down to business.
This is, by far, the CUTEST trainer I've ever run into. I don't remember if the sprites are the same for the American Red and Blue, but this guys is ADORABLE! I wanna squish him!
Down to business. I manage to catch a Grimer while I'm here... I don't know if I already have one, but I have another now, so ha. Since we're talking about the things I've caught, I also manage to bag a Ponyta, and a Muk. Then I run into this:
He looks like an annoying, stoned surfer or something... you know, like Owen Wilson. Either way, I catch him and continue my exploration of this place. I'd also like to point out that I apparently found a fourth Moom Stone. Awesome. I'm one step closer to a complete Pokedex.
Um... you can fall off the edge of the screen here. I forgot. Booger! Now I'll have to figure out where the hell I am and how to get back where I was... when was the last time I saved? Well, I decided to power through, and took out a random scientist on the way. Apparently the next time I ran into what I THOUGHT was a wall, it took me back out to the town. Sweet, this will make it easier to get back where I was. Of course I should have hit up the PokeCenter while I was out, but I'm stupid, so I headed right back in, and pretty much got back where I was going when I was struck by this idea. Durrr I R SMRT! So I scoot back out and head to the PokeCenter to drop stuff off and heal up.
While I'm at the Center, I pull out my Jigglypuff and hit it in the head with the Moon Stone.. or whatever it is you do with the stones,.. and then shove the horrifying Wigglytuff back into the box.
I go back into the house and return to my exploring... and a freaking Vulpix used Confuse Ray on me. Or I think that's what it was, since it had the same attack animation, and left my Haunter confused. Anyway, I finish my exploration, get the baffmodad of great justice and then bounce.
So... I snuck off in hopes of catching a Tangela and maybe leveling with the help of some of the trainers along this route before going to the gym. I wasn't going to tell you, actually, but then THIS came up:
And I felt the need to show you. There is SO much wrong with this sprite, from the random windshield, to the face, to the pokemon skull he seems to be using as a codpiece. He looks like a Blastoise gone horribly awry... and I don't like the way he's looking at me either. He seems to have... IDEAS about what to do with me if I lose, and I'm wondering if they involve a new codpiece. Besides all that, you know the WEIRDEST part of this?
Yeah... that's him... swimming in the water... with hair. You know, I'm no physicist, or any kind of scientist really, but I'm going to say that it's a REALLY BAD idea to swim in salt water while wearing leather and heavy metal pauldrons... just a little friendly advice for you.
I'd like to also note that other than the fisherman, who both gave me over a grand, these trainers are poor as SHIT. I mean, seriously! No one else has given me even two hundred! What a bunch of losers. Maybe that's why they're out here... their hoping to make their fortunes pearl diving, or something retarded. Well shine on you crazy diamonds
... or pearls
as the case may be.... This Fisherman I just defeated must hate himself AND his Pokemon, because I just defeated his SIX level 27 Magikarps. Why sir? Why are you so full of hatred? Who hurt you, to make you lke this? Did a Magikarp shoot your Pa, or something?
Apparently Tangelas are as hard to catch as freaking legendaries. I've managed to fail to catch one twice now, and what confuses me if how the hell it manages to break out of the freaking ball when it's asleep. On a side note, I want I want a Turbo Surf HM, because it takes forever to get from Cinnabar to the little strip of land... ooooooof course the EASY thing to do would be just to scoot on up to Pallet Town, heal up at home, and then surf the like, two feet back here. Shhhh, I'm dumb.
Well! After wasting upward of fourteen freaking Ultra Balls on trying to catch one of these things, I say fuck that so hard, and run off to catch a Venonat instead. Yes, I've stopped caring, and now I'll just trade the shit. Had I known it would be THIS much damn trouble, I would have just done this from the beginning. Quickly, and mostly painless, I make the trade, and get the Tangela. Ta da. I shoud have done that from the beginning, but I'm stupid, as I pointed out before. Since I'm here, I'll check on my fossil and see if it's done cooking... or whatever it is they're doing with it. Also while I'm here, I give him the other one, and then take a peak at what I got:
His underbite is so FIERCE, it looks like he could swallow his own HEAD!
While I'm making fun of the sprites... again... I wanted to show you this too:
The next Gym Leader is Earthworm Jim. I'm strangely ok with this. With that said, let's go investigate this Gym Leader, and see if he really is who the card leaves us to believe. Oh boy, this seems to be the gym where you can either fight the trainer or answer questions. Since I need the money and the XP, I'll fight the trainers!
If you believe those are the real reasons, then I have a bridge to sell you.
This is also the fire type gym, which doesn't really bother me much, it's just pertinent to my next statement. I'm wandering through the ADORABLE thief trainers and the sad Pokenerds, or whatever they're called, and I get this thrown at me:
You know, they REALLY should not have stapled that dust ruffle to the poor horsie. I mean, that's just cruelty to animals right there. I mean, does a horse even NEED a dust ruffle? What's the point of a dust ruffle anyway? Doesn't it just, you know, stir UP the dust when it moves? Anyway, I digress, back to Rapiderp. It looks they took a horse, bred it with a Goldeen, and then stuck a wolf skull on it. That Guy also offered his two cents saying, "It has a GIGANTIC ass! Look! It's the original model for Belle in Pokemon Black!"
A couple rounds of brain rape take the beast down and I move merrily along through the gym. I finally get to the Gym Leader, and uh...
I'm suddenly not sure it's Earthworm Jim anymore...
No, no, I was wrong. It IS Earthworm Jim, he's just traded in his Super Suit for a lab coat and tie. Good on ya, mate.
Sometimes I'm randomnly Australian. I don't know why.
Anyway, my mighty dragon-ie god, Gyarados blows through all his pokemon without taking a single point of damage, until we get to this:
Holy sheet... Does that thing have six legs? Did they cross a dog with Sleipnir... and then give it dain bramage? Seriously! Look, it's got the back two legs, and then a random foot coming out of his belly, the front leg in the foreground looks like it has another leg right behind it, and then there's the knee of the of the front leg in the background... but it doesn't attach to anything! As far as the brain damage goes, look at his expression! It's frozen in a state of "HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURR!"
Anyway, I take down the abomination in two rounds... and STILL take no damage, because it wastes a round healing. Fuck yeah, Gyarados. Earthworm Jim yells at me for a bit, and then gives me a TM. Thanks buddy. If I was bothering with a fire type, it might have been useful.
Well I know this was a bit short, but after last week's incoherent, never ending ramblings, I think you guys deserve a break from me, so I'm going to call it here. That's two events done, a little bit of rambling, and some pictures for you. Tomorrow I'll take on Zapdos' dungeon, and Viridian City gym. Until then... Hypno watches you sleep.
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