You know, I was going to start this post off with something highly inappropriate said in Spanish, in order to draw your attention my weekend feature on my other blog... but this is better, I think. I ran into this monstrosity on a trainer on the way to the Power Plant to capture Zapdos. You now, I'm not even sure what to say about this thing, except that it deserves a spot on the Cake Wrecks blog. I WOULD ask what it is the Japanese find so hilarious about giant tongues, but... I'm afraid of the answer. That and after seeing what they do to large breasts, I just REALLY don't want to know.The good thing about this dungeon in particular is that with the exceptions of Electrabuzz, I can get ALL the electric types I was missing. I've already picked up Magnemite and Magneton, and now I just need Electrode. My completion whoring knows few bounds. It might know a few more once it comes time to get the Pokemon from the Safari Zone though... I think I might put that off until after the Elite Four... which at this pace should be like, next weekend or something.
Stupid damn Electrodes! I FINALLY run into one, and the first move it uses is Self Destruct. Have I mentioned how much I HATE that move yet? The fury of a thousand suns cannot even come CLOSE to the power of my hatred for that move. Second verse, same as the first... maybe I'll just catch a high level Voltorb and go through the trouble of leveling it. Either way, I get to Zapdos, and here he is:
Why is his sprite's face bifurcated? Does anyone else find that disturbing, or is it just me?
He looks like one of those pictures that, depending on how you look at it, is two different pictures. Don't know what I mean? Look up some of Salvador Dali's stuff, he was fond of the effect. Well the important thing here is that I caught him on my first try... not the first ball toss, but the first combat, so I'm feeling pretty good, even though I DIDN'T get an Electrode and managed to kill off all of the level 40 Voltorbs.
After a quick bit of trading, I end up with a Squirtle, and also:
He looks like Sweetums and Cookie Monster had a baby... a horribly horribly fat baby... on crack.
As it turns out, I managed to pick up another TM that teaches Thunder in the last dungeon. For now I'm just gonna let it sit in my computer though, because I need to beat people with my Balls for the money. With all that worked out, I now head to the Viridian City gym to take on Giovanni for the last damn time. Thank the gods.
Oh joy, we're back to the sliding puzzles. Fuck. I HATE you Giovanni. Yeah, you know the REAL reason why Green fucked off in Silph Co. leaving Red to take care of everything? Because he didn't want to deal with the goddamn sliding puzzles. Then in true troll style, after taking over Viridian, he left the sliding puzzle in place, because, ha ha fuck you trainer.
WHAT is with all the whips! Seriously! This is supposed to be a kid's game, and the candy-coated surface of this cock fighting ring is that you love your Pokemon and hug them and squeeze them and call them George! So WHY are all these trainers showing up with whips?!
My theory? Pedophiles into S&M. Think about it. We had the dominatrix in the grass gym, with all of the Pokemon that used Wrap and Stun Spore. Then we had the man with the whip and the lollipop in Fuschia City that used poison types. Now we have this schmuck... who resembles Gohan from Dragon Ball Z somehow. Was Akira Toriyama secretly in on this, but didn't want anyone to know? Anyway, this trainer only had Ground types though, and I think I'll take the high road here and not mention what could be done with that Dugtrio that knows Dig.
Speaking of the guy with the lollipop, I run into him again. Um... Giovanni? Is there something we should KNOW about you? I mean... uh... don't you have to WARN your neighbors if you're a convicted sex offender? Shouldn't there be a sign outside or something?
Oh wait, that's only if you get CAUGHT. Well... now we know why so many of those Rocket Grunts had Hypnos and Drowzees.
*cough* ANYWAY moving right along, Mr. Lollipop sends out this:
For some reason I thought that these weren't introduced until second gen. Oh well, I was wrong. Either way, his head looks like a bicycle seat... and that worries me especially considering the last couple paragraphs of this Flailthrough.
I finally muddle my way around the damn tiles until I finally face Giovanni for our final showdown! Gyarados takes down everything he sends out me in one hit, making this the most anticlimactic battle of my life, until...
What the FUCK is that?! It looks like a muppet... made of CAKE! After a brief consultation, That Guy informs me that it's Rhydon. I'm taking your word for it, homey. Anyway, Gyarados takes him down easily, and then Giovanni runs his mouth, and give me a TM. So that's the last badge huh? That means next stop is Victory Road and Moltres' dungeon. After that we'll have the Elite Four and Cerulean Cave. I'm so happy I could poop! Well no, not really, since what this means for YOU is two more updates, while for ME it means constant god awful level grinding on top of having to play through Red until I get Eevee, and then starting over and playing through it again until I beat the Fuschia City Gym. Why, you might ask? Three words. Japanese Derp Mew. It'll be awesome, just you wait.
Until next week... Mi pene es muy grande, y fuerte.
GOD I hope someone speaks Spanish and can get the full effect of that statement.
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