We don't always like being nonplussed

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Mother (earthbound 0) Flailthrough - Day 10 (don't let the Wookiee win.)

Alright... where was I? Oh! Right! I was looking for the next location. Thankfully I think I know where that is, because I've been sitting here since yesterday wondering what the missile I shot could possibly blow up. I remembered that on the way to the factory, there was a pile of rubble blocking off the train tracks... I can't remember if I mentioned it or not, but I probably forgot since I was functioning on caffeine alone, and my brain wasn't part of the writing of yesterday's post. Just ask AngeliqueDaemon, she'll tell you my brain almost never turns on when it doesn't have to, and many times when it should.

Speaking of which...

After 28 years of playing, you start to notice the sheer volume of video game plots that hinge on 'coincidence.' Me, I shrug.

I see that we have an opening, mostly clear of rubble, and with the ass end of a rocket sticking out of it, that or it's the top of a clown's head... Much like AngeliqueDemon's mother.

I follow the tracks farther to the north west, or east, I don't know because I'm not a ship's captain, and it changes to the northeast... or west... see previous statement. Right around the corner it leads to a small building which, given the platform, train tracks, and the fact that it's the only building anywhere near by, leads me to believe is nothing other than... A HAIR SALON!

The pink doors are the giveaway.
Or a train station, but to be honest I'm not sure that I would trust a train station that looked like that. It looks more like a small bar with a deck on the back for barbecue parties on the day of sporting events, not somewhere you would go to get on a powerful and dangerous machine... well, alright, there are mechanical bulls, but those should be left to professional drunk women in spandex that should NOT be wearing spandex under any circumstances.

I head inside and find that there is a large, open room in which there is a single person wandering aimlessly, and another standing at a gate. I stop to speak with the wandering man for a moment, but find that regrettably, he is speaking Japanese. Damn my luck! I guess that all there is left to do is talk to the man at the gate, and if my theory is correct (technically it would be a hypothesis until it is proven or disproved, I know) then I will get on a train.

The menu entries are: Reindeer, Halloween, and Snowman. Huh?
Or not... I'm not sure if this is taking the train, or ordering lunch. I'm not that hungry, so I'll take the first option to see where I end up... or what I eat, I'm not really all that clear on what's going to happen. I could end up eating a train, which would be kind of neat, and in keeping with the style of the game.

Now, back in aught seven I had a habanero pullman car that was to DIE for.
That is a strange looking damn train, but thankfully I didn't have to eat it. That's good, because I'll bet the wheels would be too dry.

I speak with a woman in the station, who seems to be the only person in here once again, and I notice that her dialog seems to involve one of the other options to travel to. I agree with whatever she's saying, and she gives me a thing, and then leaves. I guess this is some sort of strange way of telling me I need to go there, but I'm going to explore a little bit first...

I think I'm supposed to go to the other place, but I'm only guessing this off of the fact that all of the monsters in this area are kind of low level. Well, the worst that'll happen is I have to pay for a return trip, so no big deal there. The thing that confuses me is that, given the limited knowledge of Japanese that I've picked up while playing these, I would swear that the next place I'm headed to is called "Snowman" but I feel like that has to be entirely wrong.

No, he's right. -Ed.
Or maybe not. I don't think the guy standing outside is a snowman, but he does bare a striking resemblance to a Kool-aid man with a telephone on his head, so I'll just assume that's a sign in my favor. Time to explore!


They are like tiny gods of death, or at least the one I ran into was, and that was enough to make me run for the town in hopes of finding a save point and somewhere to heal. I was able to find the place to heal...

Jack not name. Jack job!
I can't tell, though. Is the building named Jack, or the guy standing in front of it? If it's the guy, I'm pretty sure that a "Hello, my name is," tag would be much less bulky, and seem a lot less egotistical. Aside from that, I can honestly say there's nothing interesting here, so I'll follow the road to the east-ish out of town. I'm kind of hoping that I can find somewhere to save, but then again I'm not, because what if I'm in entirely the wrong area? This could just be a big waste of time, but at least you'll get to read about my glorious death...

I didn't know Terry Gilliam worked on this game.
And I think this might be what ends up bringing that death about... Also, I'm pretty sure I can see the zipper, and his watch band, but that's not the point. The point is that I made it out of that battle because of two very lucky critical hits from both party members, and found a small house. I have the feeling this is important, so I wander in.

Why can't you be one of the useful Dragon Quest priests?
I like it... it has a slight, church-ie vibe to it, don't you think?

More importantly, The man in the room says "(Hiragana)Paula(Hiragana)" so I DO think I'm in the right place!... The right place to get another party member that's level 1! The girl in the room, who I guess is Paula, doesn't seem to be the least bit interested in me and what I'm doing. Maybe if I show her the thing I was given, she'll give me the time of day? Well, let's show her my thing and see what happens.

Yep, something happened when I showed her my thing. She asked (I guess) if I'm Ness, and I said yes (I guess) and now that I have shown her my thing, my party becomes a threesome!

That conversation was either one entendre or fifty, but definitely not a double.
Has anyone else picked up on how creepy these jokes are, as they're all children and at the moment we're standing in a church? Also, I don't like the way Jeff is staring at Ness. Anyway, I check, and I'm right in that Paula has NO protective items, or even weapons. This is going to be a long goddamn trip back through Yeti country... but at least it's not Bat country.

Now that it's whiter, it looks even MORE like John Candy.
Fuck, a polar bear! Nature's most remorseless of the remorseless killing machines! Much like a real polar bear, it eats Paula whole, and we're left with two boys being followed around by a ghost... sounds like a Goosebumps book if you ask me. I hate to do it, but I think I'm going to have to use that other thing and go back to the place in the clouds, as one does when small children are horribly mauled by bears. I head back to the magic kingdom and have them bring Paula back from the dead, which leads me to the part I was dreading...

I now have to go and power level Paula... So I think this is where I'm going to have to call it for the weekend. I wish we could have covered a bit more, but it's best to break here or else you would just get incoherent ramblings about how she keeps dying on me every few battles, because if I remember, Paula will likely be the PSI expert, and suck at physical combat... Here's hoping, because I want some of those deadly, deadly spells that were getting used on me.

More next week! Tune your internets in then!

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