We don't always like being nonplussed

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Mother (earthbound 0) Flailthrough - Day 11 (in which old people are creepy.)

Let's see, when I last left off, I had to do a bunch of power leveling. Paula is now at a respectable level 10, and a bit less prone to death. That's good, as she has far, far less hit points than I did at that level, and does a bit less damage in physical combat than Jeff did. She is however equipped with attack PSI techniques, something that I found out only because I vaguely recognized the symbols for because it had been used on me many, many times in the past.


Now the important question... Where in the name of the funky winkerbean do I go? I have two options that I can see at this point in time:

1. Pick a random stop on the train, and see if that's it.
2. Go through the list of stops one at a time.

I think I'll go with 2, as that way I can get a bit more leveling and earning of cash along the way.

It's on this first trip that I realize something that seems vitally important, and I don't know how I missed it the first time around.

Sunglasses are a good start, but it needs drills next.
This train has sunglasses, and your argument is invalid.

I head back to the first town and head south into it, deciding to explore and see if I can't earn a bit of XP/Cash while I figure out what the crap I'm supposed to be doing next, but after quite a long trip south I find a town... What would this one be? Threed? Fourside? Fiveway?... That sounds like it wouldn't be quite suited for a family game, so I'm going to guess no on the last one.

I wander around town for a little while, and random blurry dude with blue hair gives me $400! Sweet!

If he's that blurry while he's standing still, he probably vanishes at anything above a jog.
Look at him, just being all blurry and chill, kind of like my great uncles but I don't see any whiskey in their hands. I also found a girl who, after a few tries, seems to just want any random item from you, and it doesn't matter what.

Pigpat? Patpen?
She looks like the bastard child of Peppermint Patty and Pigpen, though, so I'm not sure I want to know what item she gave me in return.

Ok, time to find what to do... Wander, wander, wander, wander... nothing. I decided to simply cut the hour and a half I wandered around so that you wouldn't stop reading and head off to play with a stick and a hoop, or kick a ball of rags around, or whatever it is that you wacky kids do these days. I'll just break it down for you like this.

Lots of fighting, found nothing, lots of money to stay at the hotel to regain HP/PP, no levels, no progress.

Given that, I think it's time to head back to the train station. With the last options being Snowman, somewhere the monsters do horrible things to my ten year old anus, or the second option, I'll sick with my plan which means no Yeti-based violation.

The thing I've noticed about the train stations is that on the inside they are exactly the same, but different on the outside... Aww, is that supposed to be some lesson about people from different backgrounds all coming together? If it is, then it's semi accurate, because they're all so ugly on the outside that no one would bother to try to spot the similarities. Hooray! We've achieved real equality! Equal hatred!

Sorry about that, I just felt like babbling for a moment.

MOVING ON!

...

I'm not supposed to be here yet. I decided to have a quick chat over the internets with a friend that has played this before, and mentioned that I had just left for the next town since there was nothing else to do here... cue him laughing at me like a madman. So, back I go!

It seems I was supposed to look west and north of the tracks, since this was all he told me I followed them to the west, realized I had followed them to the east, doubled back and took them in the right direction.

Wandering around the area I find a man in a small house who seems to heal us for $45 each, which is a pretty good deal given the price of Hotels. There's also a telephone, so this house is going to be my base until I find where I'm going next.

I follow the tracks north(west? Goddamn dyslexia) and when they head east I continue going north, skirting along a tree line. I find a range of mountains, or possible giant poos blocking off most of the wilderness, and I make my way up the only path.

I was playing Demon's Souls this afternoon and had just as much trouble finding a path. IN ENGLISH. -Ed.

Yes, this really is the only interesting thing that has happened in so long, I felt the need to take a picture of it. Aren't you just as excited as I am?

... I take it back.

It's a building. EXCITEMENT!
This is the most interesting thing that I've found so far.

The interesting part is that A) it's not a standard house sprite, and B) while it seems to be three stories tall, it is in fact a one bedroom home with an old man inside, locked in with a small child... 1 bed... I don't know what's going on, but the old man only seems to repeat the same symbols over and over, which I REALLY hope isn't "Hehehehehehehe!"

I leave as soon as possible, heading to the east in the hopes of finding Chris Hansen, but instead follow the hill around to the other side of the man's house. There is a sign here, right down at the bottom of the hill...

'Free! Take one!'
I read the sign, and the sign gave me something... Now think about that for a moment. There are only two possibilities here. 1) is that the sign is sentient, and handed me an object... now impossible. 2) is that someone built the sign out here in the middle of nowhere, then stapled an item to the sign and left... I'm not going to lie, it's a goddamn trek to get out here, and that means someone would have had to come out here, build and paint the sign with their own money, then leave it for no reason.

Now that's dedication.

So given old RPGs, I'm going to assume that I take whatever this is back to the creepy old man... and I don't want to know what it is. I give it to the old man and he says something to me... HOLY SHIT! Did I just give the old dude back his tongue!? RUN LITTLE KID, RUN!

The old dude also fills my inventory with... Oh hell, I don't even want to know what it is, but I feel violated. Still, if there's one thing I've learned from RPGs, just because you don't know what something is, and it may or may not be evil old man slobber, doesn't mean you can't sell it to someone for money.

He was close- it's mouthwash.
Poor Paula, her inventory was empty at the time...

I head back to town in hopes of finding a police officer and a lawyer, but make a quick stop by the department store to sell off some of the evidence...

Holy shit! Old man slobber sells for an assload!... Oh god, I need to not combine those words into that sentence again...

And on that note, I'm going to call it for today. This seems to be what my friend wanted me to find, and I now hate him, but can move on to the next town after this. I hope you enjoyed this, but I hope you didn't enjoy it too much, because that might be a little bit creepy.

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