We don't always like being nonplussed

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Mother (Earthbound 0) Flailthrough - Day 16 (In which squids are cheap sluts.)

Alright, I guess that we'll start out this trip by going back to the first town to see if we can find some music notes. You know, it has been a long time since I was back in the old neighborhood, maybe I should go check on mom, sis and the dog? Yeah, that sounds like it could be a lot of fun. I'm sure that by now sis has grown into a young woman, hanging out with the wrong crowds and doing all sort of drugs since it's just mom at home, and all she seems to do is sit in the living room and wander back and forth like a ghost, waiting for our father to come home. She doesn't even recognize you unless you talk to her directly, and then she just seems to give you food and send you off to bed... I wonder if she's having an affair yet? There's bound to be someone out there willing to date an empty shell of a woman, because we have to remember someone DID marry Pamela Anderson after all. By now she's probably hooked on drugs too, like little sis, and soon enough they'll both be prostituting themselves to feed their habits, and end up fighting giant squids in the Ozarks...

What? That's what happened to Ron Jeremy.
In case you couldn't guess, I haven't really been getting a lot of sleep recently, and as a matter of fact right now it's pretty hard for me to keep my eyes open. That could be because AngeliqueDaemon is cutting onions [Ed. note: They were shallots], or possibly the cat wake up call every morning. Hard to say which is more likely.

Anyway... What? Where was I, and what was I talking about anyway?... Squids? No! That's right, we're going to go look for some music notes! There's got to be a store or something, but I guess I'm going to be going to the first town and searching from there, since I'm guessing that I missed ones that appeared pretty early in the game. Time for a lot of searching!

Ok, I think I've found where I'm going, and I'll try to describe it as best I can. From the first town, which I don't know its name but am calling it Onett, you go north till you see a sign that you can't read because it's in Japanese. From the sign, head left, or west, it doesn't matter which. You'll go through a little area and come to the water, and follow the shore till you pass between two small streams that look like a colon. From there go across the little bridge and you'll see a wall, which you can't eat, and head down from there to get to the hole in the wall. Inside of the walled in areas are what are either trees, or really messed up land-based sea weed.

How to recognize trees from quite a long way away: No. 1, the Larch.

After wandering through this area for quite a while, I realize that it is full of giant birds. I can't remember if I pointed this out or not the first time I was here, but since I'm here now, I will. There are giant birds here. See? I did it.

I've been trying to chat up this bird all night. No, that's not British slang.
Just tried to leave a place holder for picture number seven there, well done me. Anyway, that bird there actually says something, which I didn't get a picture of, but if my knowledge of Japanese is as good as my knowledge of Spanish, it says something about a waffle iron. I try talking to her with my brain instead of my mouth, but it doesn't do a lot of good, so I go back to the old standard and start shoving items into her until something happens... And something happened, in that the bird went completely nuts and then taught me a song. Cool. No problem bird guy/girl, and enjoy that waffle iron. Remember to make your waffles with love... and batter. Waffle batter is important too... and, no bird poop.

I guess that leaves me one song bit I need to know... uhh... Well sweet bacon Jesus, I really don't have a damn clue where I'm going right now. I guess I'll go home and visit my mother and whorish sister to see what's up. In theory this is a pretty good idea, since I'm still missing note #1, and that is where I started the game. Guess I should go back and take a look around.

Surprisingly, mom and big sis are pretty good at hiding their deviant lifestyle, but then again they would have to be for the sake of little sis, who didn't exist in Earthbound. But then again, we do seem to be a bit upper class, which means they're really good at hiding things from people so everything looks normal, and no one will talk. It's like when you drive through a neighborhood where all of the lawns are perfectly mowed, and you see people outside doing yard work in shorts and those wide brimmed hats. It's just too 1950s TV show-like for those people NOT to have something seriously messed up about them that they keep private, but that's ok because they all talk about each other behind their backs anyway.

I wander around for a while, talk to the dog, my mom, my big sister, but I don't find anything worth note until I get to the little sister's room.

Please help, big brother! It watches me sleep. It can taste what I'm thinking.
See that? That's the doll I killed at the start of this game, which was possessed by some sort of powerful evil. Not only did they not throw the damn doll out, they left it sitting in the room of the girl it was terrorizing in the first place. That's quality parenting, but what would you expect from a meth-addicted whore? Well it turns out what you should expect from them is right thinking, because the damn doll taught me the first part of the song that I needed to know.

That's more like it!
Alright... what was I doing? Oh! Right! I found the first part of the melody, and I need to move on in the game and be funny...

But I can't. I honestly can't stay awake and write right now, because my eyes are burning, and I just spent seven minutes trying to remember what button brought up the menu... out of the 2 possible choices, I managed to get it wrong, over and over, for seven minutes... And on top of that, a friend has informed me that I am about to wander into an area with even STRONGER monsters than the ones that are killing the shit out of me.

This is it for this week. I'm going to have to spend the rest of the week leveling, so that I can be ready for what comes next... and dicks if I know what that is.

Enjoy my sleepy babble, readers, it may be back next week.

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