I need to go to the monkeys.
They had the last poo pile that I was able to use to get up there, and I think that it might still be active. So it's off to the giant pile of poo to see if I can't manage to wind my way back to the place with the item storage, where I have a pile of extra equipment hidden away for Poo. I'm lucky enough that the monkeys do allow me to get back to Never Never Land, and then begin the long look through my inventory to find out what I have that he can use...
Why did I just teleport back to the gate?... HOLY SHIT! It was the damn item! I haven't gone to the item guy in ages, what the dick was he doing with it?! You know what? Who Cares!? I've got my magic thingy back!... And now I'm done here, so I've got to go and walk through the small maze, or as we call it, corn, to get back down to normal land... damn. Well it's back through the labyrinth since I can't seem to find somewhere to teleport from... and I am lost again. Gods damn it, you would think that I might actually know this place by now, wouldn't you? I'm so lost I run into our friend the nappy-time dragon, who is at the extreme wrong side of the maze for what I'm looking for.
And if that wasn't enough, he's awake this time, once I checked to see.
He seems to have a power that will outright kill any member of the party that he hits, almost including Ness, who survives with about 30HP. It's more than likely that I'm not supposed to be fighting this thing yet, or that I'm supposed to have some sort of special weapon or armor that will protect me from that attack, or even that I'm just too low level to fight it... However, I've never been one to be bogged down by things like logic, or common sense, so I'm going to do my damnedest to beat this fucker...
HUZZAH! PURE STUBBORNNESS PREVAILS OVER COMMON SENSE ONCE MORE!
God damn, I learned what a bunch of PSI powers were that round. Turns out I have a whole screen of powers I didn't even know about, and they're all pretty damn kick ass, which is nice. Also, turns out that... we'll call it "PSI Healing - Pi" is a group heal! Sweet! I managed to take it down without any loss of party member life!... I don't know how, but I still did it, and as we all learned when we played our first fighting game, it doesn't matter if you know the moves, as long as you piss off your older brother by spamming low kicks and uppercuts. I tried to keep track of its HP, so that I might be able to give you some form of useful data, but as one with ADD does in a situation like this, I decided to try to keep track of it in my head. If my calculations are right, then it has somewhere around "I want a bowl of Peanut Butter Crunch cereal" Hit Points.
Anyway, after the battle I talk to the dragon in the hopes that the game will be ove... I mean that it'll give me a weapon or something. It does not, but it does hum a jaunty little tune, which is added to my list of jaunty little tunes... hooray-fuck!
Thankfully it was not that hard to get back to the town I found Poo in... or should that be, in which I found Poo? [Ed note: The latter one.] Meh, my grammar are for suck. [Ed. note: Tell me about it.] I manage to find what I think is the right route almost instantly, by heading to the northeast. However, it is only a few steps out of town when I am attacked by a viscous pack of letter M's.
These M's in particular are fairly strong, which would lead me to believe that they are capital M's, not to be mistaken for lowercase m's, which are the female of the species. Once you've beaten your M's and m's, head over the small bridge and then head southeast, waiting till you see a forest, and head through it. You'll be led to another bridge, and over it you will find the most WONDERFUL NPC in the game!
See this house? There's a god among men in this house, and he will become your best friend instantly.
When you talk to this bro right here, he will give you two options. Option two is to let you stay the night and refill your HP and PSI back to full, but option one is just... amazing. He gives you one of what I think is the most expensive healing items IN THE GAME, at no charge whatsoever. That's right, it's a grand or more, and he just hands it to you. I want to lick this man's face, but that would be creepy enough as it is, let alone a bunch of little kids and a thirty year old that looks like Mel Torme doing it all at once... No, stop. I don't want to see the rule 34 on that one... ever.
It took a lot of wandering to find it, but if you somehow manage to work your way through all of the goddamn trees and dead end forests, you'll come to a cave... A very. Big. Cave. I know that mazes have always been a staple of RPGs, but this one is just... well damn, that's all I can say about it. That and the monsters here are tough... how tough?
Pretty damn tough. umm... that was one round of combat that did that... shit. I'm not entirely sure what I can do here. There is no way I can beat those things... ummm... Wow, I didn't expect this big of a jump in monster power. I mean, I hate to cut this short, but I'm going to have to power level more just to be able to get through here. I would have done a bit of that during the week, but it literally took me this long to find out about the monkey cave... Shit, I'm sorry guys. I feel like I should have some video game Viagra or something, since I just can't keep up. I'll see if I can get things to a better place by tomorrow's post. Hang in there, and if I can do it, I'll make it a long one.
No comments:
Post a Comment