We don't always like being nonplussed

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Dragon Quest VI/6 Day - 4 (Comet of Rejection)

Starting out today, I'm lucky because I know exactly where to go, even if not what to do. I found out where to go because I was looking around the little carnival thing in town again, and walked into a house that used to have nothing in it but a random NPC female. This time however, things were a bit different.

'Poor chump saved my life. Wish I'd been able reach his walle-HEY! You're alive! ...good for you.'
That's right, our friend the dwarf viking has returned, and he's doing... something! And after talking to him for a few moments, likely reminding him how close he was to death... which was also only a walk away from life again, he gave me a gift! If I've played RPGs before, and I have, as far as I know, then these are probably the papers or whatever that I need to get into the Emerald City. Oh joy, I'm off to see the sorcerer!.. No, that doesn't sound right. Sage? Maybe... Mage? Priest? Meh, I'm sure I'll come up with a good one along the way.

Nope, I'm entirely wrong. I don't know if it's nice to be mistaken, or frustrating, but at least I found something that I have a good nickname for!

Hobbies: killing Jack Nicholson. Dislikes: Johnny Depp.
IT'S A HEDGE-MAGE! Get it? because it's a mage, and a hedgehog, and that works well with the real hedge-mage thing?... Never mind, the point is I'm clever, and don't tell me I'm not or I'll go and cry on my Deviant Art page... Oh, wait, I won't. I'm not seven.

Anyway, I did manage to find where I was supposed to be going, which was nowhere near where I was wandering around aimlessly. I had to follow the continent around to the left, from the castle of the Emerald City where I thought I was going to see the prestidigitator. This lead me around to...

Welcome to Conspicuous Meadows! This sign means absolutely nothing, we swear!
A sign, which I can't read since it's in Japanese, and a small, odd looking field that turns out to be a small odd looking field with an odd looking horse in it.

'Capture ME? I say thee neigh!'
Look at him, sitting there, looking all odd and horse like... maybe I can eat him...

Nope, he just runs around in circles away from me... No, not away from me, he runs in a counter-clockwise circle around the little hill, regardless of what direction I approach it from. This seems counter productive to survival, but who am I to judge what a frighteningly large and strong animal does, as long as it isn't trampling me?

Well, I'm out of ideas since aside from the dwarf, none of them have turned out to be right. The only thing I can think of to do next is start back from the first town, and scour the map from top to bottom until I'm sure I haven't missed any...

'Did you bring back the Horse for the potluck? No? How about the Snacking Dwarf? ...you suck, BeBeBeBo.'
You son of a bitch, it was the first town! GAH! I took three steps inside of the gates when Elder McCheese here ran up to me, and took away whatever it was I had been given, which I literally died to get, so I resent it a little bit. Fine, fuck you. I'ma go take a nap, you bald bastard. I head back to my mother's house and...

Or should that be BeBeBeBo VAN WINKLE!?
HOW LONG WAS I GONE?!?!? My young looking blue haired mother has been replaced by something that looks like a walnut in a wig, and I demand to know what the dick is going on!... To hell with it, I'll sleep first because I need the HP/MP.

Alright, I've triggered a... something. I don't know, but I think that it's the night, or everything in the world just turned slightly gray. I guess that I should head out and take a look around to see if I can find the next plot point, and maybe figure out who's been stealing my family members.

... What the hell?

Where's Nicholas Cage in the bear suit?
You see this? This is some Wickerman looking bullshit, and I don't think this is going to go anywhere good. This is the point in the story I'd really like to see a Setzer interject, and just steal the show. And by show, I mean the girl, before we tie her to a stake and burn her to ensure a good harvest.

I realize that this is getting a bit over my head when I follow the murder party into the church and start watching their insane rituals proceed, figuring that there's no way I could take out a whole village without a Game Genie on hand, and even then it would probably be a scripted event that I can't win.

I start to wonder, as they place the leaf hat on the statue of the goddess, what the hell is actually going on. Then my mother comes over to me, I guess to assure me that she's fine, and not at all about to be murdered to little bits. That's good news, but that's when shit starts to get weird.

Damn shame I'm the only one who knows Dragon Quest spell names in Japanese, because otherwise I'd suggest the name 'Behoma's Witnesses.' Okay, I'm suggesting it anyway. -Ed.
This appears to be their god of the harvest, and their god of the harvest seems to be an Elegant Gothic Lolita... I am oddly ok with this religion, and am very interested in subscribing to their newsletter. I'd also like to meet the people they send around from house to house to try to convert people.

I'm guessing that what I've just seen here is the traditional, "You're the chosen one, you have to save the world, dark times are coming and you have a special gift," speech that most gods give in video games. That's cool and all... also, I've decided that this girl has to be my sister, not mother. If this was some sort of fertility ritual, then she would have to be of the appropriate age to take part in it. This somehow makes more sense to me.

Moving on:

See, 'Behoma' is the Japanese name for 'HealAll,' and... oh well, wasn't a very good joke to begin with.
I'm glad that it's not just me that saw that, because everyone in the room seems to be pitching a religious spaz here, and it would be really hard to explain why I was leaving if they hadn't all seen it themselves. Anyway, it looks like we're having some form of celebration to go along with the near murder and the religious experience,

This is one of the prettiest 16-bit Dragon Quests, but these are not the best 16-bit fireworks ever.
That or somewhere there's a hell of a special on giant sky doilies. I decide that since half of the people are dancing, drunk, passed out or all of the above, I'll go to speak with the elder to see if he's evil. He is sitting in a dark room by himself, so he might be at that. I speak with him and he asks me something, so I say yes because that's what you do, and I think he gave me something. That done, I guess I'll go find the new trigger.

Just sister, actually. Let's not get too North Carolina here.
And it seems the trigger is following my sister/mother to make out point... Why the hell would I do that?... Ohh, I see! I bet the blond guy is asking her to marry him, which is generally what you do when someone has been possessed by a deity. It helps to have someone on the inside, in case you haven't been too good yourself.

I'm guessing that things don't go well for blondie, though, because blue-haired girl says something to him, and then leaves. He then walks over to the edge of the cliff, and a purple thing happens.

'See? Angst produces comets. QED.'
Yes, a purple thing. It happened, and I let it happen, so there. I go to bed, and there's what I guess is some sort of information on what happened at the festival, or a dream I had at night, presented as white text on a black background. In the morning I'm greeted by Sis-mom, because this is the DEEP south now, and I head to the church to save. I've got to find the next trigger, and I don't know how long it'll take, so it's best to stop it here for the day.

I'll be back tomorrow with more, so Flail on, you crazy diamonds.

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