We don't always like being nonplussed

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Dragon Quest VI/6 - Day 9 (I'm on a boat.)

And we return to fuck up a bitch's day! I'm not sure who I talk to about it, but we'll have to see. I'm really hoping that they put the dog poisoner to death, because I hate high school drama more than I hate adults acting like they're in high school... okay, that's not true. I actually hate adults that still act like they did in their dramatic little teens more than anything.

Off I go to the fat old guy who owns the dog, because maybe I can get him to shank a bitch... Nope, he does not seem to give a damn about a thing I have to say. Well, maybe the son will go and beat the crap out of a bitch, since he runs out of the room in a blaze of what is hopefully vengeful rage!... Nope, and as a matter of fact, the girl is missing from the prison cell, so she was either exiled, or executed for dog poisoning... I'm getting pretty angry here, so it's time to calm myself down in the only way this town can offer.

Look up the casino music on YouTube- make sure it's the original 16-bit version. SO SOOTHING.
That's right, it's time to gamble till our eyes cross and we start speaking in tongues! It could happen, I'm sure, with enough gambling... and peyote. The latter helping more than the former, probably. I'm not really addicted to gambling, but I do enjoy gambling in video games quite a bit, so...

Please don't take me to the pickle farm.
Yeah, you want to guess how many hours that took? I'm a cucumber, that's how many hours it took.
My eyes burn, my thumbs are sore, and I'm not even done the fourth paragraph of this, but it was all so very worth it, for this.

And this is just Platinum Mail. Somewhere there lives a casino with Liquid Metal/Metal Babble Armor!
I don't know if it's a weapon, or armor, or what, but it's totally worth the thirty-three thousand saves, loads, failures, and accidental cat kicking that happened on the way. It's a shame that Elf can't use any of it, but then again I don't really care anymore, since those two will not be able to hit and or take a hit from anything that exists, for at least a few hours.

Once done in the casino, I look around town a bit more to see if I can find SOMEONE that cares that some innocent girl was wrongly accused of a crime she didn't commit, but instead I find that I can buy boat tickets, and thanks to the wonders of Attention Deficit Disorder,

Later, suckers! My fancy-ass armor and I are out of this dump.
I'm on a mother fuckin' boat! I hope things work out for murdered girl, in that last town... or something, I guess... Oooh, things! I find my way across the land mass quickly enough, to another castle. I'm hoping that there's some plot device here that might let me... uhh...


Yup, this is the OTHER Reidock/Somnia.

No, this isn't a flashback from last Monday, or there would be a little green man by the door. This kingdom seems to be exactly the same as one in the upper world, the only real difference I can notice off the top of my head is that the older woman by the well is now fairly young looking... strange.

Alright, so I can't seem to find anything down the well, I'll take a look around the area and see if there's anything I can find...

Ok, I don't want to go into too much detail, but I don't think I'm supposed to go there yet, and this will get disorienting for me if I start doing things out of order. This means that there HAS to be something inside of the town for me to do, and I'm clueless. Do I have to find a way into the castle, or do I have to go back to the last town for something?

Ok, I think I'm going to have to do something here that I hate to do, and that's going to be asking someone what I do next. I know, I hate doing it too, but I really can't figure out what to do and I've now been playing this game for SEVEN HOURS without knowing what to do, and I'm out of options. I'll try not to do it again, I swear.

Alright, so what I needed to do was buy this:

Damn you, incomprehensible key items!and put it on the hero. I don't know why, and to be honest I don't want to know why, because I don't want to ruin the spirit of this flailthrough. With that out of the way, I make my way up to the castle gates, and am shown inside to meet with a very excited looking little man. I guess I'm disguised as someone important now? Probably, because once I've searched the rest of the castle, the guard blocking the throne room is yanked aside by the guard that came to greet me. Speaking of the throne room:

Well, the wicked whoever that's responsible for this is smart: they put Prince Charming under TOO.
I'm going to guess that this is some sort of enchanted slumber situation, because that... that just doesn't look right, to me. This is why all fairy tale kingdoms need to outlaw spinning wheels, damn it!

Anyway, there's not much to note about this area aside from the fact that the queen seems to be talking in her sleep, likely about something important to the plot. On my way out of the area, I'm happy to have found a plot trigger.


'Hello, my boy! I'm Minister Notsuspicious. Old, old family name. Yes.'
That's either a corrupt person ruling in the place of the king and queen while they snooze, or it's the fat guy with the poisoned dog, and he's looking for me to tell me he finally wised up and killed the conniving bitch back in his town. I hope it's that one. I really do.

I'm asked a series of questions, and by a series I mean I'm asked one single question, and when I answer wrong, this happens.


'Follow me, please. Minister Notsuspicious is putting you up in the Notadungeon Guest Room. Yes, sir, it's another old Reidock family name.'
Ok, I'll just guess I was impersonating the prince, and I was asked something about the royal family only another royal would know. Makes sense, I guess, and I have the feeling there wasn't a right answer to that one, since that's how these things work in the older RPGs.

Now that I'm done here, I head to what I thought was the next location,


Nope, not getting in there.
to find that I was totally wrong! Hooray! But on the plus side, I did run into a monster I've never seen before.

Oh, that's easy. One is Larry, one is Moe, and the THIRD one is...
I'll call it a Gruffalo, because... you figure it out, and besides that, I couldn't figure out how to fit Surly in there.

But finally, I have found where I'm supposed to be, and am dancing with my face on the keyboard!

The important thing is that it's a place.
This place could be where I'm supposed to be, at least... I don't know, ok? But that's it for today, because I literally have been writing this since 11 pm Monday, and it's now 8 am Tuesday. I'm done, and I'll be back with more tomorrow, gods willing.

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