We don't always like being nonplussed

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Dragon Quest VI/6 - Day 20 (Something old, something new, something borrowed, and something dead.)

And we're back, and quickly since after I posted the last update I realized that there was nowhere at all to save in this new town. Isn't that a laugh?
'Welcome to Our Lady of Perpetual Misdirection, the world's most annoyingly hidden church!'Then I headed up a flight of stairs, and found it instantly after writing that sentence... god damn it. This game loves making me look like a Derp, but the joke is on it, because I don't need it's help. Also, I just misspelled derp, twice... shit.

So a more thorough search of the castle reveals nothing new, but I would like to mention that there's an item shop here that sells some pretty good wea... arm... stuff. It sells some pretty good stuff. Aside from that there's just a door blocked by a guard at the north, so I'll see what happens when I talk to him.

His name is Garcia. No clue why his legs bend backwards.
This was actually not at all what I was expecting, but ok, I guess I have to fight him.

Ok, this guy crits WAY more often than he has any damn right to, and I think that I hate him. On the plus side, he seems to only be able to attack one person a round, so that's pretty groovy for me. My best advice to help whittle down what looks like about... I don't know, 1800 HP, is to keep Hero and George attacking him constantly, and have the other pair use magic. What magic? I don't know, so try all of it.

And then there was a power outage, and I was lucky enough to have turned the system off right before it happened, because I had to go and fold laundry. That's good, because given these old systems, I would have lost everything.

So, now we walk past where the guard we just met was standing, and come to another NPC guard captain. I'm going to call him Mr.Significant Pants.

Of the Significant Stairway Guard clan.
I speak with the Pants man for a bit, and then he wanders up the set of stairs behind where he was standing. I have a vague feeling we're about to get enrolled in another military, or become the gopher for another kingdom. In any event, I follow after him and take a set of doors out to the parapet, where I spot:

These are his cousins of the Significant Doorway Guard clan. It's a large, diverse family.
Some other people who give me the impression that I'm going to have to fight them. Let's see, shall we?

Scott and Holliday S.D.G., at your service.
Just remember that you can always judge a book by it's cover... and I think these guys are going to be tough... Largely because we've forgotten to heal up after the last battle. Shit.

Ok, that battle was kind of frightening, and the only advice I can think of to give you is to kill the guy on the right, first. I think his name started with a Su, so kill Su, even if life isn't easy for him. He casts what I think are massive party debuffs, so if you're also lucky enough to know what the party buff spell is, use that as much as possible, when you aren't healing.

Speaking of which, it's time to visit the Iinn and save, before we fight whatever hulking monstrosity we have to battle next.

The other families were SO pissed they didn't think to change their name to Significant Throne Guard first.
Not your typical monstrosity, but that beard is far too manly not to be some sort of trap. I speak with his royal beardliness, and I think I've just been given a quest. Who's willing to bet that it's a cave somewhere near by? No? I'll bet that it's a cave somewhere near by.

But I think first they want to show me something, since when I spoke with the man to the left of the throne, everyone filed out. I guess I'll follow them and see what's up, then look for that cave!

Then by royal decree they changed the original king's last name to Significant Hovel Guard.
Shit, this looks like it's going to end badly for me. You never see this many people packed into a small room unless they're waiting to see something big, especially nobility. I guess I have to fight one more goon... Who, with the way these things escalate, is going to turn out to be a tiny murderful god.

His name is... Blast?
SON OF A PICKLE-SNORTING CRACK WHORE! This battle is hard! First off, I'm going to have to suggest you leave someone healing, Gogo is best, at all times. Next, have Elf use... whatever these are:

The spells are Sukara and Sukaruto, AKA Buff and Kabuff.
as they're the only only spells that do anything noticeable. He uses a lot of stat damaging spells, I think, and these are buffs... I think. But you need them, because this guy has group debuffs, and his only attack hits EVERYONE, because he's a dick.

But as hard as this battle was, WE WON! I DON'T KNOW HOW, BUT WE WON! I am basking in triumph after the hardest battle I've fought up to now, but we won! And to ice the amazing cake, no one in the party died! This is proof that the universe loves a gamer, if you ask me. We return to the throne room after the battle, and...

The Significant Coffin Guard family holds the office of Prime Minister because they creep everyone the fuck out.
Well... I don't think I killed the guy I fought, because he was still standing around after the battle. Did he die of complications between here and the throne room? If so, why did they have the coffin on hand? Better question:

...were we just adopted?
WHY IN THE NINE HELLS DID THEY GIVE ME THE CORPSE?! THIS IS THE MOST MORBID TROPHY EVER!

I really don't know, but I guess tomorrow we'll find all that out, and more, in an all new installment of Dragon Quest Z... I mean VI. More tomorrow guys, so keep reading.

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