We don't always like being nonplussed

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Dragon Quest VI/6 - Day 30 (Feelin sick, but still truckin.)


Not quite to hallucinating yet, but swallowing is about as painful as one might expect it to be to swallow a pineapple, made of razorblades stuck into a salt-lick. But the way I figure it, we're all cucumbers, so we might as well enjoy a polka now and then. In to the tower thing we go!
Yeah, I think we're in the right place.
...I don't think there's anything I can add to that. -Ed.
I'm noticing that the first floor seems to be a mirror image of itself, and this isn't the first time we've seen this sort of thing, so I bet this has something to do with the princess in the mirror. We'll keep going to see if the boss violates our soft sphincters with pitbulls (whole ones) before we make final judgement, though.

I used to call Saban's Masked Rider 'Bug Rider,' but obviously I should've waited for these guys.
We're being attached by Cait Sith ninja riding skeletal hippos! Well fuck you, today I'm a pirate, and we settle this thing once and for all, like men! Pillow fight! That was nothing, and truly, they have beheld the power of cheese!... Pirate cheese!

To top that off, I went on to fight and beat TWO metal slimes in the same fucking battle! Hells yes, I feel like a tiny, snot filled god right now! I even took a picture of this to commemorate the event.

Yup, that's two Metal Slimes' worth of XP!
Yes, I'm sure others have done far better than that, but I still feel like I done good.

Moving on:

Wyverns, or Chimaera if you prefer.
These monsters are all either dancing, or startled by something slightly off to their left. My guess is it's the dead metal slimes, because I know I'd shit myself. They're not hard to beat either, and so far I'm liking this tower, except for one little thing...

Somewhere Yuji Horii is cackling. 'You wanted to WALK FASTER, huh?'
Someone had a hardon for ledges, and dropping people off of them in this game, and I don't like that person very much. Come to think of it:

Spiral staircases are difficult in a world made of squares. I bet Minecraft has the same problem...
I don't particularly like anyone who designed anything in this castle, at the moment. I dislike them so much, I will never buy them a moose. That's how much I dislike them, and you can put it in writing... which I guess I just did.

But that doesn't matter, because we've made it to the top, and!... and...

I think the Lileks article that coined the word 'purplinkle' is sadly gone, or extensively rewritten.
And this is seriously not what I was expecting to find at the top of a tower, and on top of that a tower which may or may not contain a princess... Seriously, what in the fuck shit crap am I looking at?! It's a summer home, for the love of all that's purplinkle!

The bones in in the cauldron, natch. All her best recipes begin with Intruder Stock.
Alright, this is ever so slightly better, but I'm still not exactly down with the "grandma's house" vibe it's giving off. Where are the cobwebs? Where are the bones? Hell, at this point I wouldn't be too surprised to see a fat, tabby cat snoozing by the fire... At least the cauldron is a nice touch. There had better be something seriously evil in here, or I will be disappointed.

Miralgo! That's his name. It sounds neat. Miralgo!
Ok, at least he looks crazy, that counts for something. I mean, the odd scythe thing is pretty badass, but he's just a recolor... unfortunately, that means that he's likely going to kick our asses. Let's find out.

Ok, The best advice I can give is to keep attacking him physically, because I think he has some sort of reflect spell up that sends most spells back at the part. Also, when he summons one of these:

Team Four Star was right!
A green Mr.Popo, kill it quick, because they have some nasty magic as well. All in all, though, as long as you have Elf and Gogo casting cure and buff spells, and keep Hero and George attacking physically, or with their special physical attacks, you're probably not going to have too much trouble with him. Just remember that this guy seems to have over two thousand HP, and that means that he's going to take a decent amount of time to kill. For me, it was around 16 rounds or more.

But we beat him, and that counts for something!

Now, let's get to the castle, and see if there isn't some sort of happy reunion, or if I was entirely wrong, and wasted about three hours worth of game play!

For those who haven't watched Team Four Star's DBZ Abridged, you should. But the point is that Mr. Popo is a dangerous psychopath who is feared by all.
FUCK YEAH! MY GUESS WAS RIGHT, AND I DIDN'T WASTE A WHOLE ASS LOAD OF TIME WHILE FEELING SICK AS A DOG!... I mean, aww, look at the happy couple! Isn't that just so sweet?

Three cheers for King Sabin and Queen Random Mirror Chick!
That was a fast fucking wedding, but good for them, and hopefully the honeymoon will be a lot slower, and with as few goblins as possible, nor mad druidic men... Unless, ya know, that's what they're into.

And to top of the magical day, the king decides to serenade us with my favorite of all tunes, the Item Get song. God I just love that tune.

And we'll be back tomorrow, hopefully with me feeling less like death, when I will bring you a big Friday update. Take care y'all, and don't let the pope steal your eyeballs while you sleep!

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