We don't always like being nonplussed

Friday, August 19, 2011

Dragon Quest VI/6 - Day 31 (No energy, but still as big as we can make it!)

Alright, we're back for Friday and here to see what trouble we can get into!... Or at least figure out where we're supposed to be going, which is the next new step. I noticed this right by the kingdom we were just in, so I decide to find where I parked my ship, to see if we can go through.

Did the ship Zoom to wherever you were this far back? I forget.
As it nicely turns out, we can, so that works out for me just dandy. Now we just need to follow the coastline until we spot something that looks even remotely interesting!

Or until we reach a town that sucks us into a cut scene the moment we sail even remotely close to it, which works just as well.

Uh, this guy looks kind of invisible to me.
Well this guy looks angry. Either we stole his parking spot, or he finally realized exactly how ugly he is and he's yelling at us as an outlet. I can't say I blame him, but I'd still like to punch him in the dick once or twice, for fun. But I accidentally say no to him about something, and he heads off. Hope he wasn't important or anything.

Moving on, this is the single most podunk town I've ever come across, except perhaps Podunk, in Earthbound. I mean, look at this:

Who did he have to molest to get posted out here?
Yes, that is the town priest. Yes, he is just sitting there looking sad. I know that open air churches exist, and it's common to have a priest bless ships before they set sail, but couldn't they at least have put a freaking roof over him? One good nor'easter blows in, and his pointy hat is going to be embedded in the side of a house, with his head still attached, and nothing else.

Oh ho! We seem to have stumbled upon something!

I'm no good a A Foot. I never win.
After speaking with this merchant, he ran full speed out of the house! The game is a foot!

I quickly follow him down to the bottom half of the town, where he enters another house, likely for some nefarious scheme. I had better be as sneaky as possible, because I don't want to alert him that I'm here...

Believe it!! /bad Naruto dub
We are NINJA! But unfortunately, while the guy on the left will leave when I speak to him, the man in the horned mask just sits there, looking dumb. I check everything in his house again before I step outside... which leads me to a surprise!

Follow the Limping Gimp! (Which would be a good name for a... thoroughly horrifying bar.)
Mister Horny Hat, limping away at the speed of frozen snot! I guess we're supposed to follow him, to see where he goes... I bet we're going to have to keep hidden, too, so we'll try that.

First he leads us on a slightly limpy zigzag through town, and up into a cave which I guess I missed in my search a bit ago. Let me tell you, this asshole is paranoid on a level that conspiracy theorists with OCD would be proud of, because in spite of his drunken gait, he doubles back, takes the long route, and isn't afraid to head back to his house should it even remotely look like you're watching him... dick.

But soon we have reached his secret passage, and we aim to follow him inside to see what could be hidden! Gold!? Weapons?! Armor?!

Okay, he's Rob, and she's Dine. (Dee-neh, not 'Dine' as in eating.)
Fish boobs... That's a Mermaid, and that's what he was hiding from us... Well, uhh... Ok, I had to answer no to the first question he asked to make her reappear, since she popped under the water instantly after she saw me, and then yes to the second, which I don't know what this actually means. I spoke to them for a little bit, then fish lady left, and when I spoke to the man in the yellow hood, he asked me something, then seemed excited. Well, that seems to be it, so I'm going to leave and see if there's something I'm supposed to do.

Nothing in town, I guess we're supposed to look around outside of town, for a well or a tower:

Well, at least Rob had a short commute.
Or this cave I totally missed on the way into town. Well, time to head in and see if we can find a plot point. Sail in through the random surf, and we find a cave, which is usually a good clue that we're on the right track...

I don't think we'll be able to hide a whole boat from them, regardless of how ninja we are.
Hmm, are we supposed to sit here and watch him make out with the fish lady, or are we supposed to?... AH! We managed to sail into the plot point, and they both turn around and look at us. They speak for a little bit, I say yes to something again, and this time I'm escorting a fishy Primary Dumbass.

I explained the Primary Dumbass thing, right? Well, try an escort mission in Dynasty Warriors sometime... -Ed.
Great, so I've got to find exactly where to drop this woman off, don't I? Well, I'm going to assume it's not anywhere inland, so I guess we'll just move to the topmost part of the map that we can, and sail around until we find a likely spot to drop off a fish, which doesn't involve a sushi joint.

Wow, that was actually easier to find than I thought it would be. I was sailing to the east of the castle where I fought the first main boss, the hugely fat lizard guy, and I spotted this:

Significant Rock Formations, a subsidiary of Signifcant Doors Inc.
A quick sail inside reveals, much to my happy enjoyment:

...are we escorting her, or is she blocking our escape route...?
A whole fucking lot of mermaids, which is what most people hope for... Unless you were a real sailor back in those times, because then you believed that they were evil, and would demand crewmen be thrown over the edge for them. They, much like the unicorn, were never supposed to be a creature people were happy to see.

Here's hoping they don't demand a member of the crew. Just to be sure, for the time being, everyone is named Chair. This is something that people used to do, too. Seriously.

I learned a lot about mermaids today! And that civilization is just basically a chain of insane people trying to justify their hallucinations!
I dunno... This could turn kind of sexy, except for the lack of legs or compatible genitalia. Hopefully though, one of them won't decide they're in love with the guy back in the other town, then split their fin down the middle so they can walk around and pretend to be people, while bleeding everywhere... Look it up, that's the original Little Mermaid legend.

Sorry to go on the odd rant here and there, I'm not at the stage of sick where I'm just exhausted, and my mind is wandering all over the place.

The mergirls talk for a little bit, and then give us a thing, which I'm going to guess is a harp because the sprite of the harp the one is carrying disappears. Ok, thanks. Is it a weapon, or some sort of quest item?...

But it's alright now, in fact it's a gas.
Or does it cover our boat in a giant gas bubble? That's interesting, does it serve a purpose?

Welcome to the Dragon Quest equivalent of a submarine!

It does! And that purpose is to expand the game world even MORE, so we have less of an idea where to go, and what to do! WEEEE!

Now what the hell do we do? I guess we can go back and speak with the guy who sent the mermaid with us, to let him know she's ok... Nope, that wasn't it. As a matter of fact, he seems very underwhelmed that we took away his half-naked, half-fish half-girl. Guess he wasn't that into her, or maybe the idea of waking up to the smell of a giant fish didn't appeal to him.

Well I guess this means I don't have anything left to do above ground, and then that means we have to look around under the water again.

Sunken ship! Yay!
Yep, this looks like it's something interesting. Let's take a look around then...

Nothing that got us here made sense, so have a nice deep breath of saltwater and don't think about it too hard!
I guess since our ship has a bubble over it, we can breathe under water, too? Makes as much sense as any damn thing I can think of, so once again we'll go with that and have done with it.

The sea cucumbers get vicious round these parts.
Are those multicolored archer undersea potatoes? Or is something riding on the potatoes? Say it with me, now, "I don't know what the hell is going on anymore." I guess the Archers of Spud over there are supposed to be frightening, but the Potatarch just doesn't scare me the way it should at this level of plague.

I look around for a bit, but to be honest nothing really springs to my attention. I clear it out, and I guess now... Well shit, I don't actually know what to do now, so I think I'm going to have to call it here. Sorry it wasn't particularly long, but I get the feeling this weekend is going to be spent with me wandering around aimlessly, trying to level, and find a plot hook for Monday. Talk to you guys then!

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