We don't always like being nonplussed

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Dragon Quest VI/6 - Day 39 (Yeah, I was right...)

And we're back. Sorry about the abrupt cutoff, but I had to wax the ostrich. Thank god we have a professional ostrich waxer, or it would take forever!... Seriously though, scrubbing the shower out sucks.

Anyway, where were we?

Garfield and Friends was funnier at times than the strip it's based on.
Oh, right, we were watching a train wreck in real time. Neat. Please let them all die for being this stupid?

Hopefully King Grace's successor, if any, will be less STUPID.
THERE IS A SANTA! THERE IS A SANTA! Now, can I have some marshmallows to roast over the burning embers of the dead king, please?... No? Alright, but I expect you to go back to that one town and kill the cowardly prince, too. You do that, and I don't care if you are a demon, you and I will go out and get some ice cream, and bitches. Demon bitches.

'The king is on fire! Let's rush up pointlessly!' *FOOMP*
Ehhh... I guess that you've got some work left to be done, here. I should probably let myself out, since I don't want to bother you any more than I have to. Nice meeting you, Mister Demon man... Where's the run like hell button?

'Foomp' was a Garfield sound effect. Lesser-known than 'splut,' but still a good one.
This person doesn't seem to understand the concept of running away from things that are killing everyone around you, and I really feel bad for him for a moment or two. At least he does run away, which tells me he's not a total lemming... Nope:

I think somebody here is planning on being the next king and dragging potential objectors into the fire.
He's part of a dynamic Lemming Duo! He ran off to grab the NPC I've come to think of as, "generic NPC General," and then brought him back so they could BOTH stand in the room of death! How romantic.

Ok, I know that's not the same guard that ran off, but in any event that just makes this even more idiotic, because that means two people were warned, "Everyone is dead! The giant demon killed them!" and then ran in to see if the giant demon really killed people. I would not make a good royal guard.

But then he got so excited about his plan he spontaneously combusted. Oops!
And that guy didn't make a very good Fat Guy in Red. He wasn't even in the room! Why is he on fire?! Did he set himself on fire in sympathy? It couldn't have been the demon that set him on fire, because that doesn't leave a corpse behind. All I can assume is that this guy has been just WAITING for the day to set himself on fire. Then, when word came the king was dead, he whipped out his trusty can of lamp oil, covered himself in it, laid down on the ground, and set himself ablaze. They didn't really have matches in these old times either, so he either had to pull out a flint and steel to light himself up, or a couple of sticks to rub together. Even with a good accelerant, a flint and steel can still take minutes to get a fire going. This tells me that this guy was probably on fire before the king was. Fuck, that guy really jumped the gun.

Now what the hell was going on again?

Ah, some kind of sacred armor! We'll wait until the current wearer cooks, put on the oven mitts, and yoink!
Well it looks like NPC general is grabbing the suit of armor in the next room. Hopefully it's demon-proof armor, because they could use it right about now.

Kefka would like the cut of this demon's gib. His fiery, fiery gib.
You have any extra of those? I'm not asking for me, of course. I'm asking for a friend, who doesn't want to be killed by a giant sky demon... No? Damn.

Hmmm, curiouser and curiouser.

Ah, right! Here's where the real sacred armor is hidden!
Well, it seems I was right about where something might be hidden in the other world. And it looks to me like it should be a suit of armor... Which means that I am not going to pass that shit up. After the general hauls it down stairs, the guard leads us, and the rest of the villagers, outside, and I'm warped back to the real world.

Now, how the hell do I get into that hole in the floor? Time to search everything!

Well, that did nothing at all. I shouldn't be too surprised by that, but now I've got to think about what I need to do. Spells did nothing other than warp me out of the area, meaning I had to walk back. Searching did nothing. I think I need to break through the floor... Wait, what was that thing that let me break through rocks, that I found in the mountains?

...Magma Staff? I think so.
It was the right thing, from the look of it. That or I found the right thing by accident, and that's cool with me either way. Let's go get us some armor that's probably WAY out of date compared to what we're wearing now!

NPC GENERAL'S WARNING: Rushing towards Fire Demons could be hazardous to your health.
Well, it looks like someone has already been looting here, so I guess we'll take the next flight down. I guess the demon robbed this place, because I don't think the NPC general would have... That makes him sound like the surgeon general, doesn't it? He regulates NPCs, or something.

Well, it looks like we've found the right place.

The NPC General has also determined that standing next to a suit of magical armor is better than wearing it and kicking ass, so he's not that bright.
There's the armor, and the dead NPC, and the standard dying words written on the wall in blood. It's probably a note to his wife about how he loved her, and duty, and trying to explain why it was better to die alone in a cave than to simply run away with her. I can't read it, but I have a feeling his mother-in-law is mentioned many times as why he chose this. That, or it's a recipe for taco sauce.

I guess we'll take a look at the armor, and see if... HOLY CRAP! That is some good armor! Is this that... What was it called in the first game? Erdrick's armor? It might be, since it was such a pain in the ass to get to. But in any case, me very happy indeed.

But now, it's time to make our way back somewhere to save, and to look for the next plot event. I'll be back tomorrow to bring you my latest confusion.

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