We don't always like being nonplussed

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Naruto Shippuden: Nultimate Impact. Demo.. AKA Dynasty Warriors: Nult

And I'm back again... and more to the point it's really me, AngeliqueDaemon. Why am I back again? Because I was told this game is essentially Dynasty Warriors: Naruto. I cannot stress how AWESOME this could possibly be. I mean THINK about it... you could play your favorite character, and just run around and CRUSH other ninjas! I mean, I know that this isn't an official Dynasty Warriors game, but it could be soooooooo cool... running around... as Hinata... being all shy and underrated and shit... and then KICKING UNHOLY AMOUNTS OF ASS!!!!

Honestly I'm trying to keep my expectations down, because there's a good chance that reality won't be able to live up to the amazingness dwelling in my head, and I'm having a hell of a time not saying something stupid like 'There's no way they could mess this up' because there really, REALLY is... Shit, does that count as saying it? Anyway, on with Dynasty Nult!

Or Naruto Shippuden Nultimate Impact.... That... that kinds gives me hope for awesomeness.

(Editor's Note: When the game is released here, it will be called Naruto Shippuden: Ultimate Ninja Impact. In Japan, the whole Ultimate Ninja series is known as Nultimate Hero (or Narultimate Hero, which is the translation a lot of people went for even though it's technically wrong). Why? Because the Japanese typically begin the word "Ultimate" with the katakana for "A Ru." And going by those rules, Naruto becomes Nult...)

We've got reviews of those demos too- hit the Demo Review tag and check them out!
'Now Loading' is in English... that's nice? So.... many screens of kanji and warnings though, jeebus. I guess it's Naruto's tenth anniversary, because we get a splash page to that effect... Holy SHIT Has this manga REALLY been running TEN YEARS?! When did I start reading it?... FUCK! At least seven years! WHERE DID THE TIME GO?!?!?!?! No... I stand corrected, it's the tenth anniversary of the Nultimate games... I think I'm gonna go sit in a corner and cry now.

Anyway we're then told that this is, in fact 'Naruto Shippuden Nultimate Impact' by said character's voice actor himself.

I'd have gone with Ultimate Ninja too. There's just no great way to translate that pun.
That's a title screen alright. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that the top option is new game, and the bottom option is continue. Let's see. Um... I don't know there's a box with a lot of text, and then...

I really hate the PSP's naming interface. Why am I texting when I have directional buttons?
Um... shit... er... time to hit buttons until something good happens... Hooray, if you hit Select it changes from hiragana to katakana to English. Woo hoo! Alright now... how do I confirm? Hit Start a couple times it seems. Anyway there seems to be two modes available to play, one seems to be versus mode, and the other seems to be the Dynasty Warriors style mode. Let's check that one out...

Like I was saying on New Soundwave this week: Amazing how quickly games filled the space on the SNES controller with its extra buttons, huh?
... What? Ok O seems to be attack, X is jump/dash, Triangle seems to control your chakra for ninja moves/combos and so forth. Square is... something... I also notice that this seems to be page one of six. L is lock on, and R is... something. Alright Square seems to be some kind of special attack? I guess. Also Triangle, Triangle and O seems to be some kind of uber explosion, so let's see what happens.

I... I think I came. So far this is EXACTLY Dynasty Warrios: Naruto. Granted thus far I can only play as Naruto, but I'm fine with that. I... I want this game... I want this game SO HARD! I don't know what the random prompts are saying, but I'm running around beating the ever loving SHIT outta these peon ninjas, and then I run over to:

I see 'Ero-Sennin' so I'm assuming Jiraiya's around somewhere...
So by the map that seems to be where I'm supposed to go... um... what am I supposed to do? I dunno, apparently it involves a nearby hill and then Gamabunta starts tutorialing me... that's right, tutorialing me. Shut up. Naruto doesn't like it, because I heard the word for 'Shit/damnit'... What? I learn curse words first... shut up. Then the slug, Katsuyu (Does the fact that I had to look up its name make me less of a dork?), shows up and... tells me I need to summon someone? Yeah, I only watched the anime in Japanese until it all went to shit, so I can recognize most of the names of moves. OH! The slug was telling him the three-headed doggie was summoned by Pain, alright, cool.

Is it sad that as long as they're actually TALKING rather than just texting I get a better idea of what's going on? Does that count as being a weeaboo? ... Asks the woman who's been playing games in Japanese and reviewing them... I'mma shut up now.

SHIT! Then a scroll pops up and tells me what I actually need to do in text. Damn it... Wait, judging by the mark on the map, and the sudden appearance of one of Pain's avatars with a health bar, I think I'm supposed to go hunt him down and beat his face in... he seems to be level six though... and I'm level one. It's nice to know that five or six years of storyline has landed our dear hero at level ONE. Well, let's go fuck some shit up.


Oh, Square lets you throw shurikens. Also some random combination of Triangle and O result in the Rasenshuriken, which takes about a quarter of the boss' health bar. Excuse me while I indulge in an emoticon. >w<

Also Kawarimi no Jutsu... Shit, did I REALLY just type that?... CORRECTLY?! Ok yeah, I give up,I'm a weeaboo. ANYWAY! The replacement jutsu is a pain in the ass, because they leave behind a hunk of wood, which you're attacking, and then appear behind you. Still, I only lost like a sliver of health, and I fucked female!Pain's shit up... and that's what's important. Killing her got rid of three-headed doggie, so awesome sauce. Time to move on to the next objective.

The art style for this actually looks pretty good. It's got that slightly flat comic book thing going for the characters, which actually works in this format, as opposed to the anime itself... STUDIO PEIRROT! (Seriously, have you seen Shippuden? All of the women are flat-chested now, and the animation is fucking atrocious... I mean, I've seen comparisons between a fanimation, and the official animation and the fanimation was BETTER!)

*Cough* Rant aside... Apparently you get NP for killing the Defense Commanders (You know, the guys you kill in DW to take over a base or checkpoint?) and I can only assume that those are, in fact, Ninja Points. Once I get rid of the Defense Commanders, another Pain Clone shows up, and he's a lot more annoying than the last one, but I DO manage to kill him. So hooray!

Um... then a cut scene tells me that apparently the two Pains I just killed are back. Shit on a shingle. Oh wait, the stage is actually over, awesome. I also got an S rank on the mission, so DOUBLE awesome. I'm level two now, and I have nine thousand six hundred seventy-nine Ninja Points... You know if that's ACTUALLY what it translates out to, I'm gonna laugh my ass off. After I get out of that screen, and some random text boxes I get this:

I think it's coming out here too. I HOPE it's coming out here too.
Is... is that it? Is that the end of it? Well it seems to be... Well come back tomorrow for when we check out versus mode. I haven't been so worked up about the Naruto fighting games,and in fact haven't played ANY of them, so this will be a novel experience for me, and we'll see how interesting of a flail it is. So yeah, see you Sunday.

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