We don't always like being nonplussed

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Naruto Shippuden: Nultimate Impact. Demo.. AKA Dynasty Warriors: Nult Wrap Up

Sorry for the delay guys. Hurricane Irene knocked out our power last night, and it didn't come back on until like 5 today... and then I had to actually get a few hours' sleep. I know, I'm weak... Anyway, on with the show!

Alright, today we're checking out versus mode. Let's hope there's an option to play against the CPU, because I don't want to try to connect to someone in Japan that's been level grinding and can horribly, horribly rape me. I get the same six tutorial screens and then some text boxes... god I hope it's not telling me it's connecting to the internet... Ah well:

I thoughtfully provided these detailed, in-depth translations. -Ed.
So the options seem to be, "Computer vs Something Play," "Something vs Something different Play," "User-something" and "card". Helpful! Let's go with the tried and true method of picking the first option! Yes, that seems to be player versus computer and...


I ought to renew my Shonen Jump USA subscription. It only expired... five years ago?

Ahem... yeah, sorry... I had to fangirl for a moment. The list of playable characters are: Naruto (of course), Sakura (die in a fire), Kakashi (awesome), Gai... Guy... however it's spelled, Lee, and the aforementioned Gaara. Time to play Gaara.

I didn't mention it earlier, but the loading screen has a silhouette of Sasuke on it, and every time I see it, all I can think of is "Who's that Pokeman?"

Congratulations! Your DOUCHEBAG has evolved into ASSHOLE!
Clearly it's Wankachu... or possibly Cuts-himself-while-listening-to-My-Chemical-Romance-achu... Can you tell that I hate him with every fiber of my being? I mean REALLY! "B'aaaaaawwwww, my daddy doesn't love me enough," "B'aaaaaawwwww, big brother doesn't love me enough," "B'aaaaaawwwww my family has all been horribly murdered"... ok, that one I understand... "B'aaaaaawwwww I gotta kill my big brother," "B'aaaaaawwwww I'm popular and everyone thinks I'm awesome," "B'aaaaaawwwww I can't kill my big brother," "B'aaaaaawwwww a creepy pedophile wants me to go with him," "B'aaaaaawwwww I killed the creepy pedophile," "B'aaaaaawwwww, my big brother's dead," (seriously Kishimoto, what's with all the plot cancer?)"B'aaaaaawwwww, my big brother really loved me," "B'aaaaaawwwww, big brother was really a hero," "B'aaaaaawwwww big brother set it up so not only would *I* be alright and innocent, the TENS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS would be too," "B'aaaaaawwwww, I'm going to kill EVERYONE IN KONOHA rather than JUST the THREE DOUCHEBAGS that made this happen." Let the flaming begin!

As it turns out, this isn't a versus mode, but a co-op mode! So I have a computer controlled Naruto running around helping me. Awesome. Also, Gaara attacks by shooting sand at people, and his Triangle Triangle O move is the Sand Waterfall move... that I can't remember the actual name of.

After I finish off the peons, my bosses seem to be not one, but TWO Kakashis, and I have a time limit. This... could be troublesome. No wait, it seems that the timer is counting up, not down... so it's documenting how long it takes me to kill these bitches. Alright.

On a side note, have I mentioned how much I LOVE Akira Ishida? For those scratching their heads, that would the Japanese VA for Gaara. He's also Kuja, Hakkai, Break and Xellos (Dissidia, Saiyuki, Pandora Hearts and Slayers, respectively), and he's just amazing. Seriously, he's just PERFECT for any character who's being perfectly formal and polite, but is in fact mocking the ever-loving shit out of the person to whom he's talking. Anyway, enough fan-girling, back to the review.

After several peon fights, we get another boss fight, this time with Kakashi and Jiraiya. This could be interesting... SHIT SHIT THEY'RE BOTH HERE! SON OF A BITCH! MY ASS! MY ASS IS BEING RAPED!!!

SUCK IT JIRAIYA! Apparently Naruto finally drew Kakashi off me and let me take out Jiraiya... as evidenced by my previous exclamation. Have I fangirled over Jiraiya's voice actor yet? No? Let me do that now. Hōchū Ōtsuka is also just... amazing and wonderful, and the sunshine out of his voice. Seriously. Proxy One, Xigbar, Doctor Ni/Ukoku Sanzo (does that count as a spoiler, considering how long Saiyuki Reloaded has been out?), and Gindo (Ergo Proxy, Kingdom Hearts, Saiyuki as previously mentioned, and Ranma 1/2 respectively). He's just... awesome. I dunno, I just love his voice, he sounds like such a smart ass jerk. So back to the game!

I gained two levels in the course of this and then get to a mission report screen:

Houchu Ohtsuka is also Yazan 'I'm gonna violate you!' Gable in Zeta Gundam. Just throwing that out there.
Yeah... I didn't do as well as I did in the Story Mode, but that's entirely because I'm apparently a slow bitch. Meh, it happens.

After that and some random text boxes and a link to the Bandai games website, I get the credit screen again. Well time to go back and try the other options! Also it's important to remember that X is back and O is confirm in Japanese games... I keep forgetting this.

Well apparently I can't connect with anyone, so let's just check out the other options. Well the option that starts with 'User' just apparently lets me change my profile? Apparently the card option lets me look at stats, and probably moves later. The second option on that menu apparently shows cards that I've collected through playing. I don't know what I can do with them, but the first option seems to be 'Card No' and the other options are... something something, and back... or I assume it's back because it's got the same kanji connected to the X button. I dunno... maybe you can equip cards to the slots next to people on the stat screen and it gives power ups? Nope, doesn't look like it.

AH HA! Apparently I can! I just have to do from the actual Card/Stat screen. Ok now apparently Gaara has a picture of Naruto raging into Nine-tails cloak form and Sarutobi (aka Sandaime Hokage) when he was younger.

Do these cards do anything...
...or are they just decorative?
Well the second run through took even longer, and I did worse even though Gaara's a higher level, so I'm going to have to assume that ze cards, zey do nussing. Gaara leveled up again though, which was nice.

Anyway, I went back to Story Mode to see if there's anything new there, but apparently this is the limit of the demo. One story mission, and one co-op mission with six playable characters. So time to do my post-demo overview... and I keep typing demon instead.

Overall impression: This style of game really meshes well with the combat and storyline of Naruto, which is essentially fighting hordes of peons, and then having a boss showdown. I mean, getting Naruto in my Dynasty Warriors was an amazing idea, and I'm just surprised they didn't do it sooner... or they might have and I might be behind the times, I duuno! Anyway, the anime/manga style of the characters really works well in this setting, and looks really striking against the background. The absolute lack of reality brownifier is a breath of fresh air, and I really dig it. The random chakra combos you can string together will certainly keep button-mashers happy, but they don't seem to be absolutely necessary, as you can just beat someone in the face with melee. The lock on feature seems to guarantee that your projectiles will hit your target, which is really nice.
Am I going to buy this game: YES YES A MILLION TIMES YES!!!!! Ahem! What I mean is, as a fan of Dynasty Warriors AND Naruto, the only way I WON'T buy this game is if... I dunno... the end of the world? Or possibly if I lose access to the PSP. I should, of course, point out, like I said, that I'm a Dynasty Warriors whore... not QUITE as much as I am a Final Fantasy whore, but it's up there. I also REALLY like Naruto, despite the Shonen Power Glut that it has going on. So... it's almost like asking if I'll buy peanut butter cups after finding out I love chocolate and peanut butter..
Is it WORTH buying: I'm biased, I'll just say that right now, but I REALLY think that is. There's really not a lot in this demo that I'd change, except maybe have the camera follow the player character a bit more closely, and/or give me the option to hit a button and automatically move the camera behind you the player. Also a lock on that stays once you release the button would be nice... like a KH style lock on. Even without that, it's great the way it is, so if you like Dynasty Warriors OR Naruto, it's a definite buy.

Will I flail it: If we can get it for cheap, then I would TOTALLY flail it. Of course, to be fair, the language barrier isn't THAT much of a problem, since I can kinda figure it all out pretty easily, so I don't know how much funny can be gleaned from it, but I'm sure I could come up with something. So yeah... I'd flail it. I'd flail it HARD!

Of course, I'd also like an English copy of the game... with the option to switch the audio to Japanese, because the American voice cast is AWFUL!!!!!!

Well that's it for this weekend, I hope you guys enjoyed it, and pardon me for all the fan-girling, I'll try to keep that to a minimum from now on. Now back to your regularly scheduled flail. See you guys again some other time!

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