When we had last left off, we had just changed an entire town full of snowmen into people, and I had learned that the item shop here sucks ass. But there's another cave for us to explore, so we'll head up there and take a look after we're done looking through town.
Old dude seems really insistent on the number fifty, which I guess is how long the town was frozen? I'm not sure, but he does seem grateful, which is always nice. Shame, because if it was frozen for fifty years, that means he probably got through his twenties by feeling up ice sculptures. I hate to think what those people found caked to them when they thawed. I'll give you a hint. It was waffles. Because sadly, if I found an entire town full of frozen people, I probably would just stick waffles to them.
I've also found another person that seems somewhat important.
It's a fat guy in red, but he asks us a question, as you can see. I say yes, and he talks quite a bit about what it probably something of great importance. As I still haven't learned Japanese, I smile and nod politely to him and then make my way out of town and head to the northern most cave.
Yep, it's still a cave. I haven't been inside yet, but I'm starting to hope that a random dungeon will appear out of nowhere, so we can do a bit more power leveling, and class leveling. If all goes well (and it rarely does), I'll do some this weekend. Here's hoping.
In we get!
FUCK! More ice! Well... It might not be that bad. The last ice puzzle we did was pretty much just figuring out to go left or right, so we can always start this one the same way we did the last. Going straight, until we slam face first into a wall, stalagmite, or orphan.
Fuck, that is one creepy door... Anything else in the room we can do first? No?... God damn it, what is it with this game and creepy doors? First it was the walrus doors, then the double walrus doors, then the magic doors... I guess doors were a pretty big thing, back in the day. Now, do I talk to it, search it... kiss it? George, you're up, buddy.
Oh god, it means to eat us! It glowed red, then it got some sort of demonic door laser eyes! It's going to kill us and eat the corpses!... No? Really? Well, I can't say that I'm disappointed by that, I just don't know what to expect from a face door that isn't hostile.
A quiz show? Umm, alright. We'll pick one first. I have the feeling I'm going to be resetting a lot, here. It asks me another question, so I say one again. Then at the third, I pick one because I like a matched set. Then there's a horrible noise like someone banging on the low notes on a piano keyboard, and we're warped outside. Well, I guess I failed that. Time to reset and try again.
1 1 2?
Nope.
1 1 3?
Nope.
1 2 1?
Nope.
1 2 2?
Nope.
1 2 3?
Nope.
1 3 1?
Nope.
1 3 2?
YES! And I only had to reset about... 8 damn times.
Still, it's worth it, because that creepy fucking door face isn't staring at us anymore! Also, the door is open, and we can head inside.
I regret coming inside...
I knew this was going to happen, though. I knew as soon as I saw sliding ice there was going to be a cock gobbler of an ice puzzle. I guess all we can do now is curl up into a ball and whimper... I mean soldier on!
I HATE soldiering on! Though to be honest this isn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Just head up, left, up, right, down, right and up to get to the stairs!
SHITBRITTLE! I can already tell what these floors are. They're either going to fall through when I walk on them, so I can't backtrack, or they're going to to start falling down really fast, and I'll have to run. In either case, this is actually the first place I've seen monsters in a while, so I'll have to remember it when I need to level... they're not that strong, though.
That actually wasn't that hard to get through, which is nice. I don't know about you, but I expect this place to get a lot more annoying, and soon. Or I just slide right up to the next set of stairs, either one... Damn, I guess I'm...
going to start ripping my hair out soon. This is going to be a pain in the ass, isn't it? Yeah, I just bet it is. It looks like we need to hit all of the switches, but we have to hit them in the right order! I guess the sign there tells me something, like the order I hit them in. When I step on ice that's already falling apart, a hole opens up in the floor and drops me right down here.
Which is north of the stairs I need to go to, so at least getting back won't be hard. I guess I'll have to go with trial and error again, since I don't know how to read the hint.
Alright, I figured it out. Assuming that you're looking at it like a compass, you want to go north, west, east, and south! I feel like I've accomplished something today, even though I haven't! Two puzzles that were designed for 7 year-olds to accomplish? Who da man!?
But, and most importantly, the freaking door has opened for us!
We make our way inside, and much to our happy surprise we find an old rusted sword on an altar! In video game terms, this means this sort is a god killer... What? What the hell are you doing here?!
He walks in, pushes us out of the way, then picks up the sword! I swear to God, if we let this asshole take it without a fight, I am burning this game on a fire made of hate, and gasoline!.. Not taking it? Good! Now get your ass out of here before I end your miserable little existence, whore.
Now that we have the sword, let's equip it and find... Rather mediocre stats, I guess. Assuming I was trying to equip the sword, and not a shoe or something. I guess I should go back to town and speak with old dude, and guy in red?
Guy in red it is. I think he just gave us either some rare metal, so we can fix the sword, or he gave us the name or card of a legendary blacksmith that'll make it better. It was in a cave full of ice for a while, so it's probably in need of some cleaning, sharpening, reforging (though cold is bad for the molecular bonds of old steel, with recently forged steel there are blacksmiths that have taken to cooling their blanks in chambers that reach -100F, since it causes the latticework to seal tightly around the carbon molecules [AD note: Whut?]) and of course the mohel.
Now, where can we find us a blacksmith for this bris?
And regrettably, this is where I'm going to have to call it for the big Friday update, because I seriously don't know what to do next, and I'm getting this done late, so it's going to go up as soon as it can. I hope this was interesting, and next week will start the search for our rabbi!
Writer's note: A mohel and a rabbi are two different things completely, though I believe one can be the other.
P.S. Also, while I'm clearing things up, rabbi's do not bless food to make it kosher, but they will inspect a shop to make sure it adheres to kosher standards.(Rob's Note: Our father worked for a grocery store manager, and this was actually what he believed rabbis did.)
P.P.S. I'm not Jewish.
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