So there I was... palms sweaty with anticipation. I had been a bad bad girl. It was neither the import, nor the US release... but a download on a cracked PSP. I didn't care about the ramifications, because I FINALLY had Final Fantasy Dissidia, the game I thought would answer all my prayers. It was a fighting game, it was a Final Fantasy, and it had what I wanted... a shit load of characters from all the series to interact together. So it was in Japanese? Big woop, it was a fighting game, right? Everyone knows you don't need to actually READ anything in a fighting game, you just hit combos and button mash. Well alright, I wouldn't understand any of the cut scenes, but so what? Most of the voice actors were excellent, and I knew them from other series, so it was fine, and besides, I had the internet. I could look up the cut scene translations. It would be great, right? Right!
... Not so much. Anyone that's played Dissidia will tell you that there's a lot more to the game than just face stabbing and magic slinging... and the set up is confusing enough in English. Imagine if you will attempting to face the gauntlet of instructions made entirely out of indecipherable archaic runes, the secrets of which you've never been able to unlock. On top of that, there was the equip screen... full of mysterious symbols, the purpose of which you never fully understand. Well, obviously they're related to the weapons and armor... probably... maybe... WHAT THE HELL AM I PUTTING ON YOUR PEOPLE?! WHAT DOES IT DO?!?!
*Ahem* There's also the after stage screen, with it's numbers. What do you mean, little numbers? What is your purpose in life, other than to confuse and confound we mere English-speaking mortals?
The game of course had it's good points as well. It was certainly very pretty, and as previously mentioned, the voice acting was stellar. There was something oddly wonderful about hearing Sanzo from Saiyuki (Toshihiko Seki) talking calmly and rationally for a change as the Warrior of Light, instead of shouting death threats every two seconds, and there's a surreal quality to hearing Chairman Kaga from the original Iron Chef (Takeshi Kaga), playing the much more serious role of Golbez, and doing it well. Lastly, I DEFY you NOT to laugh when hearing Edward Elric from Full Metal Alchemist (Romi Park), scream "BUTTZU!" with such anguish as Zidane. It's impossible not to spend the rest of the day giggling, no matter your age. There are, of course, many more anime mainstays in the game, but those are the ones that have stuck with me through the years since I played... and at the risk of sounding like ninety percent of fanatical, hardcore anime fans, the Japanese voice cast was MUCH better than the American. It's true, listen to it, deal with it.
I did eventually buy the game, as I had always intended to do when it was released in the US... and it was all around a let down. To be honest, the frustrating mystery of the screens full of ancient and mysterious writings gave the game some depth, and while my lack of comprehension barred me from many aspects of the game... so what? When I had no idea what was going on, it was a little easier to have the face stabbing, magic slinging experience for which I had been hoping. Ah such is life, I suppose.
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