Flailthroughs - Jump Superstars! (Part 6)

So I begin this play through by deciding to take the new bomb stage that has unlocked, I kind of suck of boxes at this point and itching for some real combat. I'm greeted with what seems to be an icon that is either a steaming cup of coffee, or a hot spring, who knows?... Ok, probably people that can read Japanese know. I decided to go with the Goku team again since they've done well by me, and start the stage only to see an intro where I'm fighting Stoner Kid from Shaman King! Neat! Finally, someone that's not on my team! I start the battle and am immediately greeted by Luffy, who falls down onto my head. Lovely, so it lied... no wait, there's Stoner Kid too! Shit! Both of them begin to try to tear me a new one, and I bounce around the screen like a ninny as I attempt to fend them off. Somehow, through use of handy pirate fruit, I beat them by one kill just as the clock runs out. This masterful strategy involved: getting beaten, running to a box, throwing a Kamekameha at them, then getting my ass beaten again.

After the stage I seem to have won or unlocked a number of things, probably some sort of furniture set that will go well in my living room, or more likely more comic panels.

Ok, now what the dick was that?! I was just greeted by some frightening monotone man who seemed to be telling me... maybe when my furniture will be delivered? He however did look a bit like an Akira Toriyama bad guy, so I guess... HE STOLE MY FURNITURE! I will teach you to steal a comfy sofa from a god!... Just as soon as I figure out who and where you are!... And who and where I am too, while we're at it! After he babbles at me, possibly cackling from his new recliner, MY new recliner, I am sent back to the world map where I have opened two new stages... I think. One is a stage, I know that for sure. The other is what looks like some sort of tornado, and if I know anything about tornadoes from Japanese video games, they're a more common form of transport than city buses, or even trains.

I'm tempted to try my luck with the public transit hurricane, but for now I decide to take a trip to the new stage I've opened up...

 FUCKING BOXES!

This stage I am not greeted by one box, or two boxes, but THREE! We have evil eyebrow box, Groucho-chaun Box, and the new one, which I can only describe as having a face made entirely of sphincters. I have NO idea what I'm supposed to do, but the boxes aren't attacking, and they are following me around like lost puppies. I almost feel sad for them as I begin to slaughter them, but that ends the second I see the small counter in the bottom right hand part of the screen start to count upward... and so began my own personal Order 66. Cardboard ran in the streets that day, people will tell their children, and funny eyebrows and comically large noses could save none of them. It was a truly horrific day, made only more horrible by the fact that they just kept running up to me and sitting there.

Anyway, I clear the level and there are more rewards I don't understand, so I'm guessing by this point that they're panels. I should go and take a look.

So it looks to me like I was right, and it really was panels for the page creation that I was winning. That's a shame because I could really use a new foot stool right about now, but I digress... and I digress without a foot stool. I played around with panels for a bit and manage to create one that i think is Nami, the girl with the inhuman body shape from One Piece, and also learned that I can name my personal panel collection in English so I know what pages I'm looking for. As a joke, I tried to name one Derp, but managed to spell it "DErP" entirely unintentionally... I feel special right about now.

What's this? While working on DErP I've put two panels next to each other, and watched as they became shiny for a moment! This is a new aspect of the game, holy crap! I'm actually really interested to see what happens if I put another near by it now, so I go off searching for someone else! YES! By putting the one guy, and then the other guy from One Piece next to Luffy, I made all three blink! Neat!... Now I just have to figure out what's going on and maybe I'll learn what I'm doing really means!... But probably not.

I move on to stage 2-2, since I don't feel like going in the tornado yet, and I discover, to my dismay, that yes there are in fact more boxes. I don't seem to effect anything by killing it, since it simply re-spawns, so instead I get bored and start moving around, beating my head into objects... Yes, as Nult, this is in fact an option. After I bash my head into a few oil drums and a treasure chest or two, it tells me that I've completed the first objective... Ok, so my objective was brain damage? Yay!... Wait, sorry, I mean Hurr Durr! But sadly the stage isn't over yet, and this time it seems to have a time limit. Oh yes, and this box... this box is an asshole! It is fast, and it is beating the piss out of me in all kinds of ways I don't like... which are any. I decide to stick with the theme and headbutt the barrels into the box... and it seems that I won. So brain damage does seem to play a big part in this game, but that's ok, because I've already been practicing on the table. I've gotten pretty good at it, too.

More tomorrow guys!