Yes, the walls of the dungeon seem to be made out of clouds, and they have been cut into large blocks. I've given up on trying to make any sense out of this, since I'm pretty sure all that would happen is my brain would explode.
There are a couple of stands, or maybe holes in the room, and I guess I have to do something with them to go through this place. I flip a coin to see where to go, then remember that I didn't assign any meaning to the sides, and take the right hole instead. Before I reach it, though, I'm attacked by...
I can't decide if it's Rush Limbaugh, or the Buddha... and that very sentence has shaken me to the core, because you should never, ever have trouble telling them apart. It uses some sort of PSI attack, which has the letters "PK" in it, so it's my guess this is either Psychokinesis, Pyrokinesis, or Pandakinesis: the art of manipulating pandas with one's mind. Thankfully they must be small pandas, because it doesn't do a lot of damage.
Down the hole, I'm met with two more holes, and I flip another coin to determine where I go. This time heads is left, and tails is right, and it comes up heads. I head down the left hole and then find myself in a similar, or perhaps the exact same damn room as before, so I flip a coin again and have a second head, which agrees we should head left.
SAME. DAMN. ROOM.
Ok, since I'm not sure if we're going in a circle or this dungeon is just annoying, I'm going to taken the right portal this time in the hopes that ANYTHING happens that doesn't involve this room.
Yep, something happened, and it doesn't involve that room. Sadly, this level seems to be set up as a rather large, rather annoying maze, or corn as the Native Americans call it. I decide to travel around the outside in hopes of finding something of interest, and aside from an item that I'm clueless about, I manage to find this thing.
It's either dead, or sleeping, and I'm not sure I like the idea of finding out which. Since this is a video game, I'll poke it with something to see what happens... Nothing, and that's fine with me. Time to wander, and there are two facts that I really want to impress upon you about this dungeon... if it is one, since it's a cloud dungeon.
1. This place it big. Like, you will not remember if you've been there before, big.
2. This place is boring. Like sitting around the DMV, you will slowly start to feel your brain melt until you finally get where you need to go...
Which is here, I think.
To get here you'll want to keep heading to the right, and north, and eventually you'll wander into it.
I step onto it, and am attacked by a boss... What else would I run into in the clouds, other than a cloud fish. More than that, it's a frightening strong cloud fish, doing 18 to 20 damage to me a hit, when I still only have about 93HP to my name. I guess I should probably be power leveling more, because of the damage some of these things do, but I'm doing pretty good in the damage department so it's hard to judge. Anyway, I beat him and am sent to!
That had better be some damn special loot, or I'm going to be mightily pissed. I open the box, get some random thing, and I guess I'll see if I can equip it, or eat it, or what... and I'm sent back to the city in the clouds. I have this nagging sensation that I wasn't supposed to head out yet, because there was some dungeon left to explore... so I guess it's back I go... Pardon me, I need to go and sob for a moment or two.
Back I go to try to find what I think I was looking for. The last path made me think I had missed something, because it was the only one I had not finished examining. It's just a guy, standing in a wall, as we all do now and then. It's north of the hole in the ground, just so you know. When I speak to him, nothing happens. I speak to him again to see if I missed something that I might understand, but his dialog isn't the same, so I do it again... and again... and again. Finally, he asks me something, and I pick an answer which ends with me being sent out of the dungeon, and back into the middle of town... CRAP!
Back I slog through the encounters every three steps, back to the man in the wall, and I pick the second option thinking I'll get sent somewhere else... Nope, he asks me another question. I pick option one, and he runs away or something, leaving the wall open like a door. I step through, and end up...
Here, again. I guess that's the end of that particular road, so I'll head back to town and save, since I don't think I've saved in about... 5 character levels.
It is at this point in time that I run into a strange and interesting new monster, which sort of looks like a cross between a pile of sewing needles and a saw. Unfortunately, I don't really have time to take a picture because it has A FUCKING AUTO KILL MOVE! GOD DAMN IT ALL TO HELL! I hate auto kill moves with a passion I cannot describe in mere words. You would have to be able to read my mind, and measure the bile that has built up in my system over countless RPGs for you to understand my rage. I don't hate them, I MEGA-HATE them. They are what designers throw in when they are too lazy to make a monster a tough battle, or too worried about keeping on schedule to bother designing a second mob to fight you at higher levels...
Ok, I'm a bit calmer now, and thankfully this game does have an option to continue, at your current level, with half of your money. Since I haven't been to an ATM in ages, this suits me fine since it'll only take the money from what I have on me... and back through the cloud dungeon I go...
And by the way, the auto kill monster? Also likes grouping itself with a UFO that seems to drain all of your PSI points, so if you manage to escape, healing is going to be nearly impossible.
After a few attempts, I make it to the next town, find the department store, and save... I now have a headache that could kill a full grown Michael Moore, and we all know how hard they are to take down. This is where I'm going to call this installment, and I feel as though I have been properly punished for being so late with the last one. Next week, we figure out what the dick I'm doing here.
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