We don't always like being nonplussed

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Dragon Quest VI/6 - Day 14 (The Prince of Pudding.)

And once again we return to our Dragon Quest VI/6 review, since it happens to be a weekday, and that's what we do on days of the week. We managed to fight our way back through the underground castle, losing many friends along the way, but in the end proving victorious!...

Actually no, right after we ended last week's session, I managed to find that Elf has a spell that teleports you outside, because I was trying to heal the party at the time, and highlighted the wrong spell. The sad bit about that is that I'm not even sure what I used, though I'll try to find it again next time.

Oh yes, and I think that Casper might be a girl, because they have long flowing hair... I just noticed that a few minutes ago:

Yup: Girl.
And now I feel kind of dumb. Oh well, live and learn.

So, now that we're back in town, it looks like it's time for us to... uhhh... visit the castle? Sure, that sounds like it could work. I'm pretty sure they would have taken the king and queen there, probably.

I make my way up stairs to the throne room, talk to a fat guy and... umm:

And thus, the narrator says stuff.
I guess since the king and queen weren't there, we're supposed to find them?... Well, this smells like a new quest to me, and I really don't think I don't like that king and queen very much, making me wait through an exposition void to see them... If that's actually what I'm supposed to do, though I'll bet it is, since the voids are sort of a hint that you're heading in the right direction.

He's saying a lot of voids. I vonder vhat ve did?

Anyway, morning comes and they're still not here, as you can see... I'll guess that it's something dumb, like they got lost on the way to the castle, or something, and ended up in the world where you're a ghost. That doesn't make a lot of sense to me, since it would require going far, FAR out of their normal route... unless they're the king and queen of that world, but that doesn't make much sense either, because then who were the people in the beds? GAH!

Anyway, I attempt to get back to the other castle, and make the mistake of assuming that I remember my way back. Sure, I only need to cast a spell or two, and go for a short walk... But what spells are those, and what the hell direction do I walk? I don't know, so what should have taken about six minutes instead takes twenty-two minutes. This is about par for the course.

So, I made it back to the city, and we make our way to the castle where the guard asks us some questions about how awesome we are, I assume, and then... uhh...

This happens to every adventurer at least once.
I hate to say it, but I don't think we're as awesome as we thought we were. I'm wondering if this has something to do with the last time we came here, and if we were impersonating someone really high up, and this has something to do with it... If so, weak sauce man. Weakest of weak sauces. Can't you see I'm the damn hero?

I... sort of remember what's going on, a little, on one side... but why spoil it? -Ed.

Yes, it seems they can... that or this is one of the suckiest trials that I've ever been a part of, seeing as how I just saved these two from... something bad... probably... Shut up! Anyway, I think that we're ok, because the king has entered some sort of heroic flashback.

The only people who can demand you watch their tangential flashbacks are the king of Reidock and Peter Griffin. It's a very specific talent.
And most of the time when old people have flashbacks, it's because of something that makes them feel fond, or sad, but with either of those options that shouldn't equal our heads being cut off, which is a good thing.


'Man, 200 crew guys just yelled 'my mortgage!'' -Drew Carey
The screen went all 1965 on us for a moment, then either the king died, or was knocked out. Either one seems to me like this is not a fond flashback or a sad flashback, which means this is a Vietnam flashback, and we're in trouble because I'm pretty sure we all look more Asian than the king.

It then quickly cuts for a moment to the giant frog lizard in its throne, and I guess that means that when he woke up, he woke up as that thing, and was surprised by it? I know I would be, but that wouldn't stop me from trying not to be a dick to people.

The king then wanders aimlessly out of the room, and I think I'm supposed to follow him, since no one in the room really has anything to say to me:

And one of them is Dinobot.
Apparently he is thy father's spirit, doom'd for a certain term to walk the night, and for the day confined to fast in fires, till the foul crimes done in his days of nature are burnt and purged away. But that's just my guess on the matter, and also there are maybe three people who will get this joke.

So, I speak with the king, he asks me if his crown makes him look fat, or something, which I say yes to, and he asks if he should go on a thinking diet, which I also say yes to, and I guess he gave me a gift certificate for pudding or something for my trouble. I guess now I've got to go and find out where to get my pudding.

That had better be some amazing fucking pudding, for all of the wandering I just had to do. I found a town through a gate to the north, which I had somehow never seen before, and took it to some new town, which I'll call Newton for the hell of it, and likely never reference it again, because that's how I roll.

'No, this isn't the International House of Pudding! That's down the block.'
I find an old man in the northeast corner of the town that seems to ask me something, and I say yes, because I'm generally an agreeable person... I just hope the question wasn't sodomy. We talk for a bit, and then I turn to leave when someone bursts into the house and knocks me out of the way. This person has the silliest outfit I have seen to date, so I think he's important.

Meet Nevan/Chamoro! I bet you'll never guess which one is the Japanese name.
To hell with trying to tell if he's a boy or girl, I can't even tell if he's humanoid or not. He looks like some sort of colorful parade floats were magnetically attracted to him, and he hasn't ever been able to pry them off. Also, he seems pretty agitated by us being there, so maybe we were stealing his pudding? It doesn't matter, because in a stroke of luck:

'It's the Pudding Star! It will lead us to-'
A meteor hits his head, then explodes. Yes, you heard me right. A meteor hits his head:

Then explodes. See? Alright, alright, I know it's technically a meteorite once it passes into the atmosphere, but I didn't want to write the extra four letters, so instead I did anyway, then wrote this sentence explaining it, rather than going back and correcting it, which would have saved much more time. Some times it's a lot of hard work to be lazy.

Anyway, he has some internal monologue, and then the old guy jumps up and down excitedly because someone just got hit on the head by a fucking meteorite in the middle of his dining room, which would upset most people.

So we leave once they're done being all excited, and I find that the multicolored man is leading me somewhere.

Let's see where this man's magical meteorite-based concussion leads us!

'There a fridge on this tub?'
It's a boat... I'm honestly not sure if this is better or worse than pudding, but I do know that the one thing it is, is a boat. Do we take the boat to the... Ok, I'm dropping the pudding thing now, it's getting a bit old, and soon it'll have that gross skin thing forming on top.

I also think that's where I'm going to call it for the day, because I have a feeling we're about to embark on a major quest line, and there may not be many save points in our future. With that in mind, I'll see you all tomorrow for more Pudding Quest VI!

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