Now, as you'll recall we left off yesterday on a mother freaking boat, which is the edited for television version. I guess that we talk to the person that looks like a walking carpet store dumpster, and see what we do next:
Well, first off it looks like we let the weird little guy join the party as our new escort-able person... wee. I guess we're supposed to take him to see something, somewhere? Probably whatever this boat is supposed to take us to, do lead on wacky man!
Well it looks like first we had to stop and have a rave, which as far as I'm concerned is freaking awesome. Nothing says party like a rave on the deck of a ship, where everyone is taking expensive party drugs and then throwing them up over the side instantly. It's good that they don't have to wait to feel regret until after they're sober.
That taken care of, we are then sent out on what is likely the most complex boat launching system in history, let alone a medieval setting.
Seriously, what the shitcock am I looking at, here? This goes down like forty stories, and we're on flat land anyway! Polly shouldn't be!
Anyway, the ship brings us to a new island where we park, and it looks like Casper wants to stay behind, probably because we've found out her gender, and she's embarrassed now. I can hardly blame her, because I know that I, as a man, would be very upset if someone found out I was a woman. Just call me wacky, but I think it would upset about 98.5% of the readers out there, at least according to the statistics I've just made up.
So the new thing joins us, this one even harder to distinguish its gender than the last. I've been calling it a he, but I guess that's not fair now that it's a party member. I think for the moment, we're going to call him Gogo until we come up with something better. And now that Gogo is in the party, and it's level 10, it's time to do some serious leveling, and I really don't care if I over-level here or not, because all of these recolors are strong, so that's good enough reason to level until they aren't.
And that took a lot longer than I thought it would, and here's hoping it was worth it.
Back to the real plot, there's a second ship parked at this island, which is worth note:
Because it's run down, and looks like it can barely float, and I'm sure it'll be important once we've come out of that big, evil castle there. Yes, I would be willing to place money on it being big and evil, because it is a castle, and it's where we're going, whether we like it or not.
Holy crap, the floor is made of lava! Someone get me an eight year old that I can consult with about this, because I might be out of my league here! Shit, ow this floor sucks! Jesus Christ, this is brutal! It took us about 30 HP each to make it to the stairs... And now that I stop to think about it, we didn't actually stop to check the other path, just walked across a floor of molten rock... We, dear readers, are dumb.
Also, what the hell am I looking at here?
It's like a... Grabber Bag? No, that sounds stupid. A Grabbag, that sounds slightly better, I think. In any event, the battle isn't that hard, because I believe I've over-leveled as I had hoped. I think the bag thing uses a technique that confuses us, though.
Also, these assholes.
Do I really need to even try to come up with a name for these? No, they're obviously Displacer Beasts, because of the tentacles... Woops, flipped to the wrong page in the monster manual there, I meant to say they were Mimics, and with the party in the current shape it's in, not such a hard battle... If you don't take into account the instant death attacks, which I did not.
On the floor above this, which I think is floor... four? Yeah, sure, we'll go with that, but everything seems to now be water, instead of lava. If you've played Minecraft, you know water is always better than lava, and neither is best, but at least you can usually escape water.
And I seriously do not know what to make of that... Is that poo squirting out of his head? I do hope it is, and he's not just happy to see me. Given the obvious name for this one, I think I'm just going to pass it along, and pretend I never encountered it... Shithead.
These guys gave me a particularly hard time:
Yep... A really, really hard time. That's our hero in that box, so let's see if there's any possible way to bring him back, shall we?
Yes there is:
It just so happens that what's his name, the new guy... urr, Winky Bottom? Sure, Winky Bottom has a spell, that one, which brings the dead back to life. YAAAAAAAAY! This does, in theory, make things much more easy, but it took two castings of the spell to bring the hero back. Why? I don't know why, but I think that he might have actually resisted the spell... Yes, let me repeat that, his corpse resisted the spell to bring him back from his premature death. Our hero, dear readers, is a nitwit.
Speaking of being a nitwit, you'll all be very happy to know that after getting some sort of status condition I've never seen before, I attempted to find a spell to counter it, and instead I warped myself right out of the dungeon. Isn't that great?
...
Twice.
And we make our way through the cave... having to go back once, when Gogo Bottom dies, and once again when the hero runs out of MP, and finally we arrive at:
The... start of the game?
Yep, that's exactly where we are, except now we have a traveling discount cloth rack in the party. Gee, I sure hope he doesn't explode into a cloud of rayon. But on that note, I'm going to call it for today, and try not to have flashbacks of me thinking George was some sort of rape crazy highwayman. Until tomorrow, gang.
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