We don't always like being nonplussed

Friday, July 29, 2011

Dragon Quest VI/6 - Day 17 (some times in life you've got to starve a hillbilly.)

So we're back for the end of the week DQ flail, and we're about eight or so levels higher than we were the previous night. You might be asking how I managed that, and the answer is quite simply that my eyeballs have dried out to the point of being tiny raisins. That being said, let's go back to Castle What's Its Frammis to fight Who's His Face, and see if we can't win. I'm hoping that level thirty is good enough.

Oh, come ON. You're saying we're not even worth the light show now? That's just insulting!
Well the first good or possibly bad sign is that we no longer walk directly into a funky hippie party the moment we walk through the door, which I think means we won't be fighting the thing's first form again, which is also good... probably? Let's see how this goes, shall we?

First of all I'll mention that I found out, through trial and accident, that there's an item that brings back the dead. I think you buy it at the casino, or find it at random, or something, but I gave one to all of my party members just in case. Well, except the person that can raise the dead, which means that he'll get all of his magic drained away in the battle. That's just a hunch, though.

Well, at least you care enough to give us fresh lackies for each trip. (Lackies? Or lackeys? Unsure...)
Nope, we're doing the first battle again, I guess. I'll use the same strategy as last time for this form, since it worked fairly well. I'll admit, I'm still kind of nervous since this guy, even in his weaker form can still do a fairly good sized clip of damage to us, namely about a fifth of George's hit points, and he's still the strongest fighter in the group.

I take out the first form with a bit more ease than last time, and then we move on to the next, much more rapey form.

Murderish? Murderic? Murderesque?
Is rapey a word? Probably not, but for this guy I think I'll invent it here, because his nature is in fact quite rapey. Not in a sexual way, mind you. In a murdery kind of way... And murdery is now a word, too. {Ed note: Wouldn't that be 'murder-ie'?}

Anyway, back to the battle at hand. Amazingly, we don't do too badly, until George dies, but thankfully Gogo brings him back fast enough, while everyone else heals. This is actually a bit of a surprise to me, because I expected eight levels to give me a little bit more of an advantage than this. He is needlessly tough, but I will admit that I feel a good deal of pride in defeating him the hard way, when I know for a fact that I have a Game Genie around here somewhere...

But we do beat him, and that's the point, so yay!

It's quiet. A little TOO quiet.
First the screen goes dark in celebration:

Actually that level of quiet was pretty darn nice! ...can we have it back, please?
and then the corpse glows for a bit, as they do. We're then greeted by an overlay of text on the screen, which I think is from the EGL Goddess, who I am more than happy to hear from again, and would like to take a look at her holy book, if you know what I mean... I like reading, that's what I mean.

And we fade out for a moment, only to fade back in and reveal...

'Congratulations on beating the Dread Fiend! Here's some more stuff to do...'
We're back with the king and queen! So what? They're probably going to give me something as thanks, but I know this game isn't over yet, because we haven't even found where to change jobs yet!... That is, of course, if we do, and I'm not just assuming, since the last DQ game I've had any passing interest in was DQ9, though I didn't even come close to finishing it. Like, pathetically didn't come close... Just got to All Trades Abbey pathetic.

So anyway, I think I heard some item get music, though I don't really know since I was eating Pringles at the time, and once you pop, you'll assassinate a public official, as they say. The rest of the party leaves, which tells me that they likely want to speak with me in private, meaning that the evil threatening the world isn't over yet.


At this point the queen let's me go, and I am so totally clueless as to where I should be going, that the only thing I can think of is to go back to the first town, and start looking from there, and then hope for the best.

Yay, Dharma Temple/Alltrades Abbey is restored! Oops, spoilers. -Ed.
That was startlingly quick. This was (and I don't know if you'll recall it) a giant hole in the ground last time I was here. I smell job classes!

Actually I'd like to see Gaga go classical, just because it would please noone. Probably go into negative pleasing, in fact.
Maybe! Either that or I've just walked onto the set of some sort of Lady Gaga, Gwen Stefani cross breed abomination of a "music" video. I guess since it's going to take me the weekend to figure out the whole class thing, the best I can do to end this week's session is to give you a quick guide to this castle thing, so here we go.

I'm not sure how well he could see from that height...
This is the king, probably, who changes your job classes... probably. He spends all day running wildly in place, and has no throne. This is because he needs to keep the blood flow going to his legs and arms, because he spends all day looking at the woman below him, from above. We'll call her Helga. Helga's breasts swing wildly from side to side as she jogs in place, and I can only assume that her corset is made of spider silk, because it's the only thing that keeps them from breaking free and destroying us all. That's probably why the castle like this in the other world is in ruins. Godspeed, Booby Sling.

I'm going to miss those. But worse yet our local discount bookstore just closed, and I has a Venti-sized sad.
This is a Borders/Starbucks. It should be gone within the next week or so, like the rest of them.

DQ plays it pretty loose with religion. And STILL had to be censored repeatedly to keep from offending anyone in the US. In their defense, we ARE the world capital of being offended.
Here we have a nun with a crystal ball, who likely looks into it in order to tell you that you're a sinner, and you're going to hell when you die. In reality, they tell you this with or without the ball... well, without, because prognostication is evil, along with swearing, spitting, happiness, love, compassion, and bestiality.

I think the nun tells you how far you have to go to rank up in a job. Or is that Helga?
In the upper left corner of the next floor down, we have a priest who seems to have thrown together a makeshift church in a corner no one was using. It almost looks like people would have come in one day and just found him standing there, not having been welcomed by anyone, but just acting like he belonged there. I suspect soon he will attempt to annex:

It might be a Stormtrooper uniform for your hamster instead.
The armor and weapon shop directly to the south of the drive-through chapel. In here you can buy weapons you can't use, or armor that isn't for anyone in the party. That likely means new classes, or it's actually tiny Star Fleet uniforms for your pet turtle, in which case we should just move on to:

Yeah, this place is more like a shopping mall than a castle.
The Inn in the bottom right corner? Ok, I know this castle just appeared out of nowhere, and it's likely strapped for cash, but don't you think it's a bit sad that the king has literally changed his castle into a tourist trap. I guess it makes sense in a strange way, seeing as you're the only person in the world who can teach a person how to do a different job and all that... but wouldn't you use that on a much grander scale? Like, for your army?

Nope, I guess you would use it for this:

They're waiting for the Ikea to open. It hasn't been built yet.
Yep, that's a waiting room. Why are they here, when the king is just sitting up stairs all by himself, and you can probably just walk up and talk to him? Because these people all have webbed toes, that's why. Webbed toes, and extra ones at that, and they live with Sister-Mom and Cousin-Dad, and they all just saw a waiting room and sat down here because that's what you do in a waiting room. Soon these people will be dead, and that is what the king of this castle is doing to amuse himself. He is a sick, sick man, and I would probably do the same thing in his case.

Anyway, I'm going to go and sit in the waiting room until the king will see me, so I'll see you all next week!

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