And we're back for Tuesday to do... something! Something involving squid, or maybe the NRA... Or both!
If you hadn't guessed, I haven't gotten much sleep, and what I did get wasn't that great. This should hopefully turn out entertaining for you, so let's get going. If I recall correctly, we had just discovered that George was secretly Casper's mother, and that he had been living a secret double life, since she had grown the penis. Gogo on the other hand revealed that he had always wanted to be a hot air balloon, and so we lit a fire under his MC Hammer pants and wished him a fond farewell as he floated off into the sunset.
No, wait, that would actually mean we know what's going on, which we don't.
To be honest, I think what we're doing is looking for a cure for monsteritus... Monstritus? Flamboyant Ferret Disorder. That in mind, it's time to take a look around the island, since cures are never that far from the disease, as any virologist can tell you.
Hmm, this looks unusual enough to be some sort of... cliff side... dungeon? Well, let's go find out.
Kind of depressing here, isn't it? But that's a good sign, because I'm sure that means there's some sort of magical plant, or spring that will cure any illness, and I've got to find it and take it back to mister monster pants.
Oh, wait. He's not nearly racist looking enough to be Mister Popo! He must be his evil twin!... Yeah, you should probably just insert a poop joke here and assume I giggled like a small child. That'll make things less tedious for the both of us.
Thankfully, this is a pretty straight forward dungeon, and before you can say "Je suis le smilodon de l'amour," we reach:
Yep, that looks like a mystic doodad, and I have a feeling we'll shortly be feeding it to/rubbing it on our friend in the bed. Why? because apparently we're all perverts. Time to pick it and then warp out of here!
Or... have it yell at us? Sure, I guess that's... what? That's actually one of the more confusing things I've run across. Am I supposed to pick it's leaves? I think I'll assume that's the case, and the sentient plant doesn't want to be pruned. On that line, I begin to search the area around it to see if there's a leaf somewhere on the ground... and there is!
Ok, leaf in hand I make my way back to the last town, which is as simple as casting whatever spell it is that I just cast, and we go to cure what's his hat!
I can tell as the screen begins to flash that the curse, or whatever, is breaking, and that soon he will be cured of this horrible thing!
Or... not at all. Crap, I guess we have to kill the guy, and even though it wasn't a lot of work to get him on our side, I can't help but feel a bit down, seeing as he doesn't seem like that bad a guy. The screen does the little battle swirl as I approach him, and then... stops. Ok, he's talking to us now? Was he really a monster all along, and we've now cured him? That's... That kind of makes sense... ish.
Ok, he's changed back, and I don't know what's going on at this point, but that's no different than usual. I guess he can change form as he likes? That's a cool power, actually. I could use someone that could turn into a monster with what seemed like a few thousand hit points, but that's a bit too over-powered for a party of PCs...
Uhh, I think he just joined the party. They definitely played the party join music, or possibly the quest music, or the plumber's music. One way to find out.
Yep, that's a new party member. I guess we're going to have to come up with a name for him, so... Cecil. We're calling him Cecil even though I'm now going to have to explain this joke. Since he's a mild-mannered guy, I think, I'm naming him after the old Beany and Cecil character, Cecil the Seasick Sea Serpent. I would bet money no one reading this will get the reference, because technically even I'M too young to get the reference, but I do. Keep in mind, this is a cartoon show that was originally a live action puppet show, which Albert Einstein watched daily. He even straight up told people at a major scientific conference that he had to leave, because the show was on.
In all fairness, it was a good show.
Anyway, you know what's neat about all of these party members? I have no skunk-fucking idea how to switch them in and out. This will probably be my downfall later on, and I know it, so all I can do for now is trudge onward and... uhh... Shit, where do I go?
Ummm... Let's got to the upper right, since it's nearby and unexplored. It seems like as good a place to start as any, and it's pretty close too. We'll take off there at top speed!
Except that our path is mostly blocked by reef, or as the scientists would call it, "asshole rock." No, that's what a sailor would probably call it. I guess we're going over land to see if we can get there.
A small bridge later, and we've found something!
This is what historians would call, "a big fucking castle," because they're rather laid back.
Well it's nice to know I'm not the only one with party troubles, but this guy seems to just be out of luck. Also I notice that he's a unique character sprite, so we're probably going to end up with him in our party... Also, he's on the cartridge. A pair of guards let me into the castle, and I think it's on that note that we'll call it for the day.
Come back tomorrow, when I will attempt to bare knuckle box Harrison Ford... or I'll just play the game some more, which ever is less dangerous.