You know, my life would be SO much easier if I could turn off the attack animation in this... but I'd need to read katakana to do that... and that's not happening any time soon. In other news, I have Butterfree, and you know what it looks like? Venonat. I'm not kidding, Venonat with little hands and big butterfly/moth wings. I don't know if you've heard the rumor that the sprites for Butterfree and Venomoth got switched, but this... well this makes me think they're true, instead of just idle babble.
Now in honor of the fact that I've been leveling my Balls (or Ba-ru, whatever, the Derpachu), and he's not a Raichu yet, I think maybe I'll leave this here for you to contemplate.
Seriously, go listen to the song, it REALLY sounds like that. Also, little known fact, when Pikachu paralyzes someone, his sweatdrops turn red. No, really.
In other non-meme news, I'm finding the people in the way stations between areas to be downright pleasant. Or at least the ones on either side of Viridian forest, since those are the only ones I've been to thus far. None of the people in them have yelled at me, which is a wonderful deviation from the norm. They DO ask a lot of questions though, and I'm torn between wondering if they're spies working for the Gym Leaders, or even the Elite Four, or if they're just polite. We'll see soon enough, I suppose. If I take on the first gym, and it suddenly specializes in fire types instead of rock types, then we'll know the nice people for the dirty spies they are!
Good news everyone! (Points if you automatically heard that in Professor Fanrsworth's voice.) With the help of Flailthroughs and Co I managed to turn off the attack animation. This will both make things easier and harder... Easier because I'm power leveling, and know what things do at this point and time... and harder because later I'm not gonna have a freaking clue what the hell a move just did because I don't read Japanese. Here's to hoping I remember how to turn it back ON before I move on.
So after finally learning vine whip, which you can only use ten freaking times, leveling Bulbasaur has gotten a bit easier... though I'll admit it got to the point where the ONLY moves that had any PP left were Leech Seed, and Growl... or at least I think it was Growl... One of those music note attacks anyway. To give you an idea of that means... I Growled and Leech Seeded a Metapod and a Caterpie to death, because I didn't want to take experience away from my Bulbasaur. It worked out alright too, because he evolved... What the HELL is that?! It... it looks like a muppet gone horribly, horribly wrong! What happened to the vague froggish theme? It looks... I don't know, like some kind of turtle wearing Mickey Mouse ears with and Audrey 2 (from Little Shop of Horrors) on its back... Or alternatively a hamster crushed under a fern. Behold its derpish, terrible glory! Look into its evil little eyes, marvel at its bloated little legs and pebbly toes, and despair!
To break the monotony of the incessant leveling up... I have started playing the game with my nose... I am REALLY not kidding here. Since, as previously mentioned, I'm playing this on the Gameboy Adapter on the Game Cube, I'm using a Game Cube controller... Which is how I'm able to do this without breaking my nose: analog stick, and a soft A button. The REALLY sad part? Every time I hit the A button, I say 'boop'. I'm a special little snowflake.
Now, if you guys and gals out there are anything like me, sometimes you have two, or more games going at once. For example, I'm obviously playing Pokemon Green, but in my spare time (i.e. during the day) I'm playing Final Fantasy III on the DS, a game that I never got around to finishing on my old file because the job level grinding was driving me insane. So I started over fresh with a new game, since That Guy bought his own copy, which actually allowed me to do the mail transfer to unlock all the special side quests. But I digress. My point is, I have found a solution for what to do when you have TWO games in which you need to level grind... Play them both at once. No, really. I can play Pokemon Green pretty much one-handed, with perhaps the occasional use of my nose, and Final Fantasy III lets you use the stylus for pretty much everything. Ta da! So I can mindlessly level up my pokemon WHILE mindlessly leveling up my jobs. I R SMRT MULTITASKR!!! The down side to this system is that sometimes you get annoyed with one game, and rather than lightly tap the controller to your nose to press the A button, you kind of smash your nose with the controller. But you know, everything has its draw backs.
Well thanks to my obsessive dual leveling, my monk and thief are up to level 42!! Oh, wait... That's not the one you guys care about. What I meant to say was that my poisonous lizard bunny just evolved! You know... I'm starting to wonder if these sprites were actually based on drawings, because much like Ivyderp, this one looks like someone had a wad of clay plunked down in front of them and they were told to make something vaguely lagomorphic, but with a fin on the back and a horn. I'm sure that the tooth sticking out of the corner of his mouth is SUPPOSED to make him look fierce... but it kinda has the opposite effect, it makes him look like the world's most special bunny... but not one of the nice ones, one of the mean little bastards that suddenly flips his lid and chokes you out for no reason... or try to mate with you... I'm not sure which is worse. Look at his stubby little legs and bulbous body... Clearly this devil bunny has had too much ham... or at least needs to cut back on the Farfetch'ds, they're mostly fat anyway.
... Alright guys, come on now... Seriously? SERIOUSLY?! Now I'll be the first to say that Nidorina was never done any kind of justice when it came to her evolutions, and she stayed kinda ugly through them all, but REALLY?! It looks like a wild boar had a sloppy drunken three way with the T-rex from Toy Story and a Mr. Potato Head! ... Who was potentially also from Toy Story.
Either way, dude... just... dude. I feel that this supports my clay sculpture theory... though now I'd like to add that the sculptors were, in fact, a third grade art class. If you're like me, that was a once a month treat where you trotted across half the damn school in order to sit in an old shack of an outbuilding that smelled of old paint and dirty clay that had been handled by too many sticky children, and you spent an hour making not!ashtrays for your parents... who then promptly used them as ashtrays as God intended. And you were HAPPY to do this! Because as lame as it was, and as much as you sucked at it, at least you weren't doing MATH and SCIENCE and HISTORY and LANGUAGE. Do you remember those days? When learning consisted of doing nothing but learning by rote memorization, and repetition? Who gives a damn what part of a sentence is the subject or predicate? Me English is being more gooder, and THAT'S what's important! ... Where was I? Oh yeah! You were HAPPY to escape that and go to your subpar art class, and I think Game Freak took advantage of this fact, and went to one of these art classes and said, "Hey kids! Put down those not!ashtray and make some bunnies! Or hell, ANY animal you can think of! Come on! We'll give you candy!" And the kids said, "Sure creepy man! We'll play with clay and eat candy... idiot..." but in a much much nicer way, because these were Japanese children, and if they weren't polite and respectful, their parents would beat them to the point of making them look like mummies when they returned to school... and then when they tried to tell their councilor their parents are abusive, the councilor would brush it off, and then make passes at them... No wait, that's just in Loveless. God that manga is some pooped up squack!
I know this is where I'd normally cut my review off, but I am NOT going to do another review about level grinding... well at least not until I get to a new area with new pokemon that I MUST level up. This has already taken up like three days, so you're gonna grind with me through this. Remember, I'm pullin' for ya. We're all in this together.
All my internets to the people that got the RedGreen reference right there. Anyway, back to work.
Thank you GOD, that's the last one! Pidgey has become Pidgeotto, and he really doesn't look that bad... well except for one little minor thing that I'll point out. He's kinda... fluffy. You know... huggable? Squishably soft?
Alright, he's fat. He's a big old fat fatty fat fat bird made of fatty fat fat dipped in fat, and then rolled in a fatty topping, and sprinkled with fat. You may think that I'm being mean to the bird, but you didn't just spend what feels like half your life leveling the bastard. With a girth like that, I'm pretty sure he ATE not only the insects, but the freaking Pikachus and Rattatas as soon as my back was turned. If he gets much bigger, I don't think he'll fit in the ball anymore, his data will be too fat. I'm surprised he hasn't eaten my Butterfree!
Alright, I know that was kind of anticlimactic there, but I stopped caring around when my soul died. Tomorrow we'll move onto to greener pastures... or maybe less green ones... I don't know... EVERYTHING is green in this game. In any case, next weekend I'll take on... what? Pewter City I think it is? And duel viciously with Brock... and likely make horrible horrible fun of his sprite, as is my wont. I'll leave you with a high note... potentially... Enjoy the following discussion... this actually happened.
Me: So that's 'save'?
Flailthroughs and Co.: Yes... well hmm, that's different. It says 'report' rather than 'save'...
Me: ... Is that bad?
Flailthroughs and Co.: Oh, no, it just says 'ree-POE-toe' instead of 'SAY-bu'.
Me: Yeah well, you know what it says to me? Upside down scythe, cross in a mountain with a sun, hyphen, spigot... or possibly pikeblade.
Monday starts That Guy's flailthrough of Pokemon Black, so stayed tuned for that! I'll see you next weekend!
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