keep on burnin'. And we're rollin', rollin', rollin' on the river. Yes I just went there... because occasionally you HAVE to randomly visit the early seventies. It'll probably go down hill from here folks, just to warn you. I get off the river near Narshe, and have to wonder if I'm supposed to go there, or see if Edgar's castle is back... Well, a detour never hurt anyone, right? And it's not like the monsters in this area even matter.As it turns out, there's still no Figaro Castle, so it's back to Nashe! Maybe having Edgar out front will make the Tusken Raiders ignore Tina. Apparently not, but that's when the Cowardly Lion steps in! ... And then gets punted. I shouldn't laugh at old people being booted in the face, but come on, I DID laugh about Cyan's son being dead, so what do you expect from me? Edgar also gets booted in the face, and everyone talks about things for a moment and then I regain control... so what the fuck am I supposed to do here?
I realize I can get around the edge of the cliff without leaving town, and keep talking to the walls until I get a scene. What? They always say 'if walls could talk,' so why NOT try to engage them in conversation? Anyway, I get into the caves, and then... I get to a room with a bunch of rocks, and then watch a save point fly around. Something tells me that I have to follow the ridiculous path this thing just flew around. Shit. I already don't remember. Well, here goes nothing!
I manage to get through after a bunch of thought and careful movement, and That Guy telling me how to get through, and I find a door I didn't notice before. I go through it and...
Moogles! THOUSANDS of them! The only thing they have to say is kupo (How do I know? Because they're fecking MOOGLES! They're gonna say one of two thing, 'kupo' or 'mogu' and they only say the later when they mean 'I') but I find a treasure chest hidden away and loot it before heading on. I know I've been here before and already looted this place, but somehow seeing all of the empty treasure chests makes me sad. In any case, I make it back to the man that smuggled Tina out in the first place, and into a cut scene. The screen blacks out and I see the number 3... and I hope that means everyone's going to join back up with my party, but I doubt it. While talking to the person I guess is the leader of Narshe (since he's a pallette swap of the usual old man sprite, AND he isn't wearing Tusken Raider robes), I'm apparently proven wrong, because Mash and crew just showed up. Can I have my thief back now too, please?
Cyan likely tells everyone of Doma's fate, and we get a collective 'feels bad man'
However it's an ill wind that blows no good, and Locke returns! Excellent! I was running low on Potions! And then everyone freaks out over seeing Celes.
I'm not sure what's up with Cyan here, but he kinda looks like he just pooped himself. On a non-fecal note, you know the guys are mentally comparing notes here... Edgar brought back the original hot chick, Locke brought back a new hot chick, and Mash... Mash brought back a wrinkly old man, and a feral child that's probably never bathed in his life. He has GOT to be feeling like he got the shitty end of the stick here...
Well apparently Cyan punted Gau across the room and went to take on Celes, but Locke jumped in the way... I guess I can't blame Cyan what with the empire KILLING HIS ENTIRE COUNTRY, and then one of their famed generals walking up and being like, "Hey bitches, I'm on YOUR side now!" I think I'd be a bit upset too... especially if Celes actually talked like that. Cyan doesn't seem very swayed until Tina says something, and makes him feel bad. There's another collective 'feels bad man', and then, just to show that he COMPLETELY understands the delicate situation, and can handle it with tact and grace...
Yup. You know, it's probably a really GOOD thing Edgar used that two-headed coin to trick Mash. I don't think he would have made a very good king, since his solution to everything seems to be posing. Poverty in the kingdom? Pose. Plague outbreak? Pose. Empire attacking? Pose... and then punch them in the faces... Alright that last solution isn't bad, but while you're posing, crazy ass Kefka might sneak around and poison your water supply.
I love like the 10 second pause after you clear Mash's text box where everyone just stares at him like he's a fucking moron before a messenger comes in to let everyone know the bad news... whatever it is. SHIT! And then I missed the entire room full of people freaking out! Sorry guys, I didn't know it was coming.
We cut to Kefka marching across the desert with like twelve Biggs and Wedges, and some in magitek armor. I'm sensing a large strategy battle here, like the one I had with Locke and the moogles defending Tina. Oh joy.
Back in Narshe we all seem to be moving into position, and Edgar hits on Celes (I assume), and then Celes and Tina share some girl talk (I guess?) and then Cyan stops Celes to talk to her ("My name is Cyan Garamonde, you keelled my family, prepare to die...").
In any case, I get up into the mountains, and then, just as I feared, get a set up just like the defend Tina battle. I have no idea how to switch between parties here, so this should be a riot. I wander around, apparently switching Tina in and out for random character and then realize after it's too late, that that was my chance to optimize their equipment... D'OH! I've already said yes to Bannon and gone to the Moogle of Exposition screen, so it's too late now. I guess I just have to hold onto my ass and pray. Time to make my parties.
You might be wondering at my set up here, but it's really quiet simple. I wanted a healer in as many parties as possible, and since I can only control Gau once, I need two other people with him that I can control so someone can act as an item healer as needed. Tina's fragile and underleveled, so sticking her with Cyan, a known tank and heavy damage dealer, will keep her safer, and him healed up. Edgar and Celes are both underleveled, and while I originally had her paired with Mash, she'll work better with Edgar since she CAN take a hit, and has Runic to fall back on, while also working as the party healer. The last party is Mash, Locke and Gau, because Mash can work as the tank while Locke steals or heals, and Gau... well Gau can do what he does best... and also I didn't want my only level twenty person to be someone I had no control over. Alright, here we go...
We get a group pose of party leaders that I miss, but then it's down to business. Oh boy...
Well, someone's already declaring their victory... but I think with luck I can prove him wrong. The magiteks are a bit tougher than I remember... but it's really not that much of a worry, and I survive the flood of enemies without any real problem. I mosey on down to defeat the commander, who I didn't think to get a picture of, which is a shame because he was riding some hideous beast. Sorry. Now my only question is, which group should fight Kefka? I'm leaning towards Tina and Cyan, because then I'll have a healer and Cyan's sword tech. Decisions, decision...
Ultimately, I go with Cyan and Tina, not only because it's a good combination, but because they have the most to hate Kefka for story-wise. What? I like poetic justice, shut up. Now that we have a serious battle, we have lost the Kefka sprite and now have:
The 16-bit version of the Amano artwork. Points to Amano, if you see his original design of Kefka (the render for Dissidia is VERY close) he's a creepy creepy fuck. Anyway, my plan worked perfectly, and with Tina on heal, and Cyan hitting four times an attack for three hundred plus damage a hit, I take him out without anyone dying. I still need to heal up though, but I'm sure I can get a damn bed in the inn after this, if it doesn't story heal me.
After the battle, Kefka spins in anger and then disappears, leaving Cyan to swear vengeance or something. Then we suddenly magic our way over to Tritoch... who is now sitting on a ledge... Whut? Wasn't he like, INSIDE the caves earlier? How the hell do you move around when you're entirely covered in ice? ... An evil wizard probably did it.
Moving right along, Tritoch glows and then punts Locke, apparently with his mind, everyone gathers around Tina, and she, or Tritoch, freaks and knocks everyone away...
And Gau hangs around. Oh I know, I know, Locke and Edgar are hanging out too, but for some reason Gau's cracking my shit... probably because it looks like he's just standing there waving. Tritoch and Tina glow at each other some more...
And I try to get a better picture of Tritoch for you, since the first one sucked. You're welcome. There's some more glowing, some lightning, and then Tina goes full esper and flies off into the night... day... whatever. Damn, she took some good equipment with her... Or is this the game where they started unequipping people automatically before they let the party? Can't remember.
Anyway, Locke wakes up in bed, Celes delivers bad news about Tina, Edgar comes in, says some stuff, and then takes time out of our crisis to look between the other two and wonder what the hell Celes was doing in Locke's bedroom. What indeed. There's a lot of talking, and Locke feels bad:
Is it just me, or are there an AWFUL LOT of blondes in this room? I know Locke is technically supposed to have silver hair, but that can fall under platinum blonde... and as the only dark-haired person IN THE WHOLE WORLD, I think if I were Cyan I'd be REALLY fucking worried right now... Think about it... everyone else you see is either fair-haired or wearing a hat that obscures their hair. Did I just blow your mind? Oh good, because if I had, you would have been REALLY easy.
There's a noddy head moment afterward, and then I get to pick my party:
Why you might ask. Simple, Edgar has the highest hit points, and all of the tools I have for him currently hit all the enemies. Locke steals things, and I need no further justification for him. Celes heals, also no further justification for her. Lastly Mash hits twice an attack which at three hundred plus damage a hit makes him a no brainer. I know Cyan can hit up to four times, for about the same damage per hit, but that takes longer to change than I want to deal with in normal combat. I'll level him and Gau up some later. For now, it's off to wander around Narshe to loot and get new equipment. After I have completed this task... I have no idea what I'm supposed to do now. I mean, I know I'm supposed to go find Tina, but I think I need the airship to find her... and I have NO idea where the opera house is so I can get Setzer. It's a mystery to us all! Well, not to anyone that's played the game recently. In any case, I'm going to call it here for today as I wander around in circles and try to decide what to do. Tomorrow I shall have an answer for you, kupo!
That's right, because I'm a fucking moogle now. Deal with it kupo!
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