I set out of the station and head south, since for the most part it seems they always build these things above the towns. All I can say as I travel into it is that this place looks like a damn ghost town. I haven't seen a single person on the street, I haven't seen a person walking around, and everything seems to be surrounded by piles of rubble.
The other thing worth note is that monsters attack IN this town, which they have never done before. Not only that but they're appearing in pretty large groups, and as a result I have to go and stay at the hotel... Turns out this guy:
who is a bit pale, is actually this guy:
who looks like an oddly shaped penis in a spandex jumpsuit. This is a Starman, if I remember correctly, and I'm not sure if I should be worried or not. I am curious why, if he was going to ambush me by pretending to be a hotel clerk, he waited until AFTER I was healed to attack me. Seems like a bit too much of a sense of fair play from someone trying to kill you, but as a wise man once said, "Grblb blabt unt mipt speeb!! Oot piffoo blaboo..." Which I think covers this nicely.
Thankfully he's not that hard to kill, and since he only attacked Ness, he didn't do that much damage to us. But what in the blue blazes was a Starman doing running a damn hotel? Is this what he does when he isn't henching? Probably. Even goons have to make a little spending cash, otherwise how will he be able to wine and dine the future Mrs.Starman? Oh, that's right, he won't. He's dead. Once that's taken care of, I wander around aimlessly and become hopelessly lost, until I come to this:
Look! It's Plot Point Manor! It has been abandoned for decades, though there are tales of an [Insert McGuffin] that could purge it of it's evil taint! Ha! Taint! I only call it Plot Point Manner because this home, as apposed to the old creepy man's house, has a locked door. That's a sure sign of a plot point, though there are several other things about it, manorisms if you will, that lead me to believe it to be a major location. I make my way back south, figuring I have to go and find the McGuffin, and what I find instead is that I missed an entire damn town, somehow, and I don't know how this happened since there is NO WAY for me to get up that hill without walking through the town. More and more each day, I'm turning into Ryoga from Ranma 1/2
.After wandering the calm streets for a bit and finding that there is no hotel or save point in this place, a random woman gives me a thing. I can't use this thing, so I guess this thing is a McGuffin. I'll go use the McGuffin on the house, and see if it lets me inside to kill the ancient evil... or possibly Girl Scouts. I've never really trusted them, and I wouldn't doubt that they're behind this!
Hmm... no Girl Scouts so far, but this is one creepy, evil looking place... and that mouse must be on crack with how fast he's running around. Well, crack or possibly Thin Mints, which are similarly addictive.
Sweet Jesus' fishnet stockings, this place is huge! I can't do it justice or coherency with a picture guide, because I have no idea what's going on. This is going to take a lot of searching. I will however note that threatening messages from someone, (likely the scout master... mistress? That just sounds creepy) are much less frightening and threatening when in Japanese, as the only thing I recognize out of ALL of it is "Kukukukuku!" which could be coughing, or laughing.
Maybe a ghost has a hairball, I don't know and I don't really care that much. That's the other thing, this place is packed to the hilt with ghosts, and while not nearly as frightening as bloodthirsty Girl Scouts, it's still a bit creepy. I guess what I'm really trying to get at is that I want a goddamn Samoa, and I want it NOW! Sorry, just having a bit of a craving here, and since you're all reading this I assume that my insanity is exactly what you were hoping for.
Also, while I'm on the subject of snack foods, these fuckers right here:
They are tiny gods of death, and they are pissed off to see you here! At this point in time, Ness has the best weapons and best armor that I could find. They're still doing around 35 damage to him a hit, so you can guess what that does to the lower level people... It KILLS them, that's what it damn well does! So with Paula dead we move on, through many seemingly identical rooms, and with many small battles, and thankfully no more suits of armor. However this guy:
Just came out of nowhere and almost made me crap myself. Look at him! He's like some sort of freaky Yoda clone that didn't stay in the vat long enough! He probably speaks in PLAIN English, and that's reason enough to kill him. But, to top all of that off, it looks like Ness is afraid or something, and can't attack! Hooray! With Paula dead that leaves Jeff, and we ALL know how well scientists do in physical fights on average... Well, no we don't, but we ASSUME we do, and when we assume we assess... UME. And we all know how often we should assess our umes
... I don't know what I'm talking about right now, but to my surprise Jeff actually kicks some ass! Sweet!With that out of the way, I believe I have found the reason I was sent here in the first place!
That's right, a blurry Piano! And the blurry piano taught me a song, which could very well be quite important... possibly... I don't know. What I do know is that I will attempt to tell you the path to get to this room, as best I am able.
When going into the house, from right to left there will always be two doors. So the path you take is this. Top, top, bottom, bottom.
I know that makes this place not sound that big, but don't get me wrong, it is. It's not as large as the factory full of bug robots, but it's still quite easy to get lost in. And after all of that mess, I use my magic... whatever, to go back to the kingdom of Mentos so that I can get to a hospital without getting my sorry ass killed.
This is where I'm going to end for this weekend. Join me next weekend when we verb the noun! Or something!
No comments:
Post a Comment